A few days ago, I found and posted an interesting article on Twitter and Facebook, about an expat in Abu Dhabi who’s biggest hardship is missing his NFL!

Click here for the full article – http://bit.ly/8I0JaF.

While humorous, this raises a great point.  When you relocate, you may be faced with the inability to see your favorite sports or TV shows.  Or, if you can, and you want to watch them live and you’re several timezones away, your life might not permit you to see a live game.  In a recent post, I mentioned that I just joined a local French community here in New York who gathers to watch their favorite team play soccer in local pubs.  This is one great way to bring people and sport together.

Wherever in the world you are, did you have to give up your favorite teams, or watching them live?  How are you coping?  Post a comment and let us know!

I’m in the middle of a two-part vacation, and thought I’d share my experiences with you.

One of the things I advocate after you relocate, especially if you’re feeling depressed, or homesick, is to take care of yourself in a meaningful way. I treated myself to a partially silent meditation retreat at Kadampa Buddhist center the past few days, and it was phenomenal!

I didn’t know anything about Buddhism prior to this retreat, nor had I ever done a silent retreat, so everything was brand new. I spent several days at a retreat house “in the middle of nowhere” sharing a house with other retreaters, and Buddhist nuns and monks.  I did a combination of personal meditations, and a few shared ones, and dined on home-cooked, delicious vegetarian meals which somehow filled me up after only a few delicious bites. I enjoyed the time meeting new friends, and also amused at how some of the nuns and monks enjoyed hot sauce so their food. I nicknamed one of the monks “macho monk” as his name was especially difficult to remember! 

My experience in this wonderful community was somewhat like a cross-cultural experience, too. I met people from many different countries. I spent time getting to know monks and nuns and how they live their daily lives, what they believe in, what they wear, who they were before becoming ordained, learning about their values, etc.

Here are a few other  things I learned:

1. spending time in silence is not as scary or as difficult as it may sound. In fact, it was one of the most beneficial experiences I’ve ever had.
2. you do not have to shave your head or convert to a new religion to go on a retreat!
3. we think a lot about the junk food we eat and fill our bodies with, but we are often blind, deaf and dumb when it comes to what we fill our mind with.
4. you can learn a lot about yourself when you take the time to reflect, commit to leave your computer behind, go someplace where there is no cell phone service, and no noise!
5. worrying about problems serves no purpose – if a problem can be fixed, there’s no need to worry.  If it’s not fixable, then worrying won’t help. (This was a quote in my room, though the author was not mentioned, but I thought it was superb!)
6. watching snowflakes fall, I likened them to “the path of least resistance”. I never noticed before how when the wind is gentle, they all blow about on different paths, turning without hesitation when the wind changes direction, and each ending up in its own unique end.  It’s like they comfortably drift along, enjoying the ride, knowing they will reach their destination. (And if only I could achieve that ease one day!)

Our teacher, called Gen Samten, made a wonderful comparison of a vacation and a meditation retreat.  He said, when you go on vacation, you always get “PVDS” – Post-Vacation-Depression-Syndrome(!) but returning from a retreat, you come back with more insight.

Another quote I came across in a book by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso that I loved is this, “…we are just as likely to develop the qualities that really matter – such as wisdom, patience, and compassion – through our failures as through our successes.”

I wanted to share a bit of my experience (trying not to babble on or bore you!) to make the point that time away from all your perceived problems is an excellent way to focus inward, to find out what you really desire, what you really need, and it helps you return home with some changed perceptions that may help you improve whatever is most driving you crazy or making you angry. Perhaps Buddhism is not for you, or perhaps you don’t have a retreat facility nearby (by the way, this type of retreat is EXTREMELY inexpensive) or you don’t like the idea of sharing a bathroom, but if you have your own way to spend a few days “unplugged” in an unfamiliar environment, I highly recommed it.

Stay tuned for Part Two of my experience – “a hike from hell” that taught me some valuable lessons!

* Want more ideas on finding activities and taking care of yourself? Check out The Personal Success Method! *

With the holidays fast approacing, if you’re an expat and can’t afford to go home, you’re no doubt in search of ways to celebrate locally, or closer to where you live.

According to AsiaOne News, there will be a lot of expats in Beijing this year! Sometimes, if you can’t be with your loved ones at home, it’s a good idea to seek out local places offering, say, food you’re accustomed to on the holidays, or, you might even find other expats from your home country celebrating the holidays in the same place as you. Why not share the festivities together?

Click here to read more about plans in Beijing to welcome foreigners. Even if you’re not in or near Beijing, it might be a good idea to inquire, locally, about what events and dinners are being planned that you can participate in – ideal to avoid being alone!

With Thanksgiving, and the holiday season upon us, I know many expats will be far from home.  This is a time when it’s all too easy to get caught up in missing your friends and family back home, and wishing you were with them, leading to possible bouts of depression.    Especially if you are in a country that doesn’t celebrate a traditional holiday, such as Thanksgiving.  It can be even harder to find life continues as normal on a day you’re used to sharing with your family. And, don’t forget the weather! If home is a place where winter is snowy and cold, and you’re someplace in the Southern Hemisphere, then it’s going to feel really strange to find people swimming and walking around in t-shirts, which can make home feel even further away.

However, you also have the choice to see this as a time of discovery, welcoming in new traditions.  I have spent Thanksgiving in Paris twice, once with a fellow expat who cooked us a lovely dinner, and another time with friends, dining at a restaurant that had a special Thanksgiving menu.  Actually, the restaurant experience was one of those prix-fixe menus with a leg of Turkey that resembled duck confit, and a very French-ified version of mashed potatoes, etc.  It was like gourmet gone wrong. (Really, is there a way to make roasted/fried turkey gourmet?)  The wine, of course, was great, and so my friends and I enjoyed each other’s company, and had a good laugh at the meal.  Of course, it was wonderful, for us, to be with each other, and we were grateful that a country that doesn’t even celebrate this holiday, gave us a way to honor it by combining our tradition with theirs.

I’ve also spent Christmas in Normandie, where we ate Oysters instead of the meat, or turkey and potatoes I’m accustomed to at this time of year.  Though I wasn’t with my family, I bonded with others over wine and oysters till the wee hours, sharing discussion, laughter and fun. 

What I find is most important is making sure to celebrate the occasions, and to honor them with good friends.   Here are a few ideas for you to consider during the holiday season:

1. If you can’t go home, see if home can come to you!  Invite your friends and family to visit you.
2. Reach out to neighbors, colleagues, and new friends, and ask the ones you’re closest to if you can spend any of the holiday season together. 
3. If you feel you don’t know anyone well enough yet, then look for other expats in your area. If, for example, you’re an American living in Peru, see what other expats are there using something like Facebook or Google, doing a search for expats near where you live.  Expat Forum is a great resource for this as well.
4.  If you can’t find anyone to spend the holiday with, see if any restaurants or community organizations might be holding a holiday dinner.  This way, you can at least be surrounded by people, rather than alone.
5. Now is a great time to make new friends!  Take full advantage of every method possible to meet new people. 
6. Host a dinner at your place for the holidays and invite your new and old friends over to enjoy the time together.

I just finished reading a fantastic book, “Peaks and Valleys”, by Spencer Johnson, and had to write a post about it because it’s so inspiring for all of lifes ups and downs.

For anyone out there that might have relocated and feel isolated, depressed, or be thinking, “What have I done?”, I hope the insights from this book might inspire you out of a bad time and into a good one.  Applying the insights to relocating, here’s what I came up with:

Make Reality Your Friend
If you’re feeling awful, can’t meet new friends, don’t like your job, don’t fit in, etc. ask yourself, “What’s the truth here?”  The premise of the book is that you should ask this question both when you’re in a “Valley” (bad time) or on a “Peak” (good time).  So, in essence, ask yourself what’s really going on.  Are you trying to duplicate friends and setting your expectations such that you’ll never meet them?  Do you not fit in, or have you not tried to adapt to what’s around you?  Stay in touch with the underlying reality.

Find and Use the Good Hidden in a Bad Time
If things have really got you down, nothing seems to be going your way, you’re aggravated, frustrated, and wondering why you bothered to relocate, do the opposite of everything you’re doing now.  If you’re complaining, start praising everything around you.  If you isolate yourself, start going outside.  Find a way to be of service in your community, and be a more loving person.  These are the actions that move you out of a bad time, and into a good one.

Appreciate and Manage Your Good Times Wisely
When life is good, and everything is going your way, figure out what actions and behaviors got you there, and make it a mission to do more of those things.

Follow Your Sensible Vision
Especially if you’re in a low point, try envisioning what you’d like your life to be.  Perhaps surrounded by great friends, a well-known person in the community, etc.  Get very clear on the details of your desired vision, and think of it often.  Then you can enjoy doing what you need to take you there.

The book recounts these themes in a fable-type story, it’s a quick read, and I highly recommend it!  It’s invaluable whether you’ve been laid off, have problems in your relationship, difficulty making friends – really just about any of life’s situations. 

Check out http://www.peaksandvalleysthebook.com/ for more information.

Today is my grandfather’s birthday.  Were he still alive, he would have turned 100 today.  Though he passed 7 years ago, I still think about him often.  The way his blue eyes always illuminated whenever I came for a visit, and the way he was always proud of even the smallest things I did.  In fact, I realized that he is my inspiration for meeting new people and making new friends.

My grandpa, no matter where we were, had this amazing ability to appeal to everyone around him.  He would always smile, and want to get to know you, and make you feel like an important person.  In fact, when I would visit him in the hospital, he had made friends with the entire staff of doctors and nurses.  I was always in awe!

What he tought me is that a warm smile, a sincere question, and laughter, are simple, and important, steps whenever you want to meet someone new.

Because it is my grandfather’s inspiration that helped me create them, in honor of my his 100th birthday, I’m offering you 50% off either my “Learn to Feel at Home Anywhere in the World” program (gives you an introduction to the core steps of relocating and making friends, satisfying your personal/emotional needs, and adjusting to professional changes) or my “Social Success Strategies” eBook (which is a deep-dive into how and where to make new friends and create a new social network after relocating.)

Just use code GRAMPS100 at checkout.  Offer good through Sunday, October 11th, 2009.

Happy birthday grandpa, and may his inspiration equally help and inspire you to make more friends.

As companies have lost money, they still want a global reach.  The current trend for them is to send employees on short-term assignments – anywhere from a few months to a year.  In the last eight years, this type of assignment has grown and is a way for companies to save money because they don’t relocate the entire family.  Good for the company – challenging for the families.

Click here to read the entire article.

The first year after relocating can often be the toughest. This is the time you’ll miss your friends and family the most, and some of the comforts of home. Here are a few tips to help ease into that first year -

1.  Leave time and budget to return home at least twice the first year.
Why? It’s very helpful to reconnect with everyone back home so you can realize you didn’t lose them just because you live someplace new. Also, it gives you a chance, on the return trip, to catch yourself thinking, “when I get home, I have to make sure to…” and realize you’re talking about your NEW home.

2. Make a new place feel like home.
Why? Coming home to an apartment or house with a touch of familiarity can lift your spirits. If you have a favorite picture or object, place it someplace you pass every day. For some fun ideas of ways to make a home feel more homey, click here!

3. Take care of yourself
Why? Relocating is stressful. It’s challenging emotionally and physically.  So, it’s important to find ways to relax, and treat yourself well! Here’s a link to a great little book I found that helps you with some fantastic ideas to relax.

I found this article both shocking, and fascinating.  Due to the recession, the number of applicants for H1-B visas to work in the US has declined dramatically.  And, for those Expats already living in the US, many are choosing to return home.  Click here for the full article.

I’m a big believer in signs – things that help you know you’re on the right path, or gentle hints to turn around and try another one.

I recently moved to a new apartment, and was filled with doubts, fears, and was constantly wondering if I had made the right decision with so much choice out there.  Well, the first day after I moved I came home from work, I walked out of the subway and saw this -

My heart simply leapt for joy – and I kept that motto – “New Location, New Relationships, New Opportunities”.  This was exactly the inspiration I needed and my fears and doubts instantly disappeared! Since that happened, I have been overjoyed with my decision, and that joy is spreading into the rest of my life.

I’m a strong advocate of asking the universe to send you the signs and messages you need, so if you’re in any period of doubt or confusion about your relocation, try asking for a sign. And then make sure you pay attention when they come your way!  Of course, the ones that are so big you can’t miss them are always nice.