I was recently watching a cute flick (well, I guess it could be considered cheesy, but hey, I thought it was cute!)  In it, the main character, Daphne, an American from New York, goes off to London as a teenager to find and meet her father.

While in England, she encounters massive cultural shifts.  Her father is a Lord, and is running for political office. He is surrounded by demanding political advisors, and a social-climbing fiancee.  Daphne, who is accustomed to casual dress, a tiny apartment, and very low-key lifestyle, enters into a world of wealth, a huge house, and frequent parties with royalty for which she must wear elegant gowns.  She hugs her grandmother, who retorts, “No hugs, I’m British.  We only show affection for dogs and horses.”  Her father’s fiancee and her daughter are bent on getting Daphne to leave as soon as possible – sabotaging her efforts as often as possible.

The movie, despite whether or not you like it, demonstrates some important things to focus on when transitioning cultures and trying to make new friends :

1. Be aware of cultural habits when it comes to greeting and showing appreciation.  In the film, Amanda Bynes is accustomed to hugging everyone, but the people she encounters find this too personal. You may have to alter your normal style to fit in, at least to start.
2. Notice how people dress.  The obvious changes are in formal parties – of course you’d expect to dress more formally than day-to-day wear.  But, take a look at day-to-day dress as well.  The very clothes you wear can serve to keep you isolated, or bring you closer to those around you.
3. Focus on the people that take a liking to you.  If you find yourself feeling that the people you’d most like to be friends with aren’t welcoming you, then focus your efforts and attention on the people that DO want to be friends.  It could be a local shopkeeper, or someone  you least expect.  Shift your attention towards them!

* For more help on making new friends after moving, click here! *

Are you having a tough time meeting new people and making new friends after moving?  This eBook will give you strategies, concepts, tips, techniques, and action steps to help you in this important step to creating a satisfying life after relocating!

And, it can be yours, FREE!

Here’s how – simply Tweet your followers to let them know about this fantastic resource – whoever sends out the most tweets by July 7th WINS a FREE copy of The Social Success Method! Make sure to include @expatconnector in your Tweets so I can count up who had the most Tweets.  Send as many tweets as you can to make sure you are the big winner!

Here is a sample message you’re welcome to use:

RT @expatconnector Excellent resource on how to make new friends after moving http://sn.im/yteyu   #expat #relocating #expatriate

Congrats to @wifeinasuitcase who won the contest!

I hear from a lot of people that it’s tough making new friends, especially after moving.  So, I’ve decided to launch a group coaching plan to help you do just that – make new friends after moving!  It builds on the foundation steps of my Socialnaire program, and offers 1 live group coaching session with me each month for 3 months.

The Socialnaire Coaching Club is limited to 10 people.  For more details, click here!

This is a great way for you to combine lessons, with live sessions to ask questions and enhance all the learning you will receive each week.

Also – if you’re going to be near Spring Lake, NJ, on June 26th, and want to get some great tools to enhance any area of your life you’re not satisfied with and/or, learn about feng shui, click here for details on 2 great workshops!

I’ve mentioned before that volunteering is one of the absolute best ways to meet new people, and feel less isolated.

Today, in my capacity as a Big Apple Greeter, I took a lovely French couple around New York to show them parts of the city they wouldn’t get to see on their own.  They ended up teaching me a lot, too!  It’s always fascinating to me how a foreign pair of eyes on a place you know so well you take it for granted, helps you find novelty.  They marveled at a barber shop in Chinatown which still looked like something out of a Hollywood film from the 1940s, and were amazed at a parking lot that had cars parked above others via a raised platform, requiring the bottom car to be moved out of the way, to get to the car on top.

We also got to speak about cultural differences – this is another wonderful experience – getting a slice of life that you might otherwise not get.  My choice of volunteer jobs allows me to meet people from many different cultures, and nationalities, and to speak many different languages.  Each time I volunteer, I am overjoyed by the types of people I get to meet, and the in-depth conversations and shared learning that ensues.

The other wonderful part about forming these relationships is that you never know who you’ll meet.  It turned out that the couple I took around New York is from a city in France that my cousin is visiting next week.  They very kindly offered to help her around while she’s there! 

So, once again, I’m demonstrating here how the act of volunteering can have so many different rewarding experiences – if you’re hoping to meet new people, make sure to find something to volunteer for!

Today is my grandfather’s birthday.  Were he still alive, he would have turned 100 today.  Though he passed 7 years ago, I still think about him often.  The way his blue eyes always illuminated whenever I came for a visit, and the way he was always proud of even the smallest things I did.  In fact, I realized that he is my inspiration for meeting new people and making new friends.

My grandpa, no matter where we were, had this amazing ability to appeal to everyone around him.  He would always smile, and want to get to know you, and make you feel like an important person.  In fact, when I would visit him in the hospital, he had made friends with the entire staff of doctors and nurses.  I was always in awe!

What he tought me is that a warm smile, a sincere question, and laughter, are simple, and important, steps whenever you want to meet someone new.

Because it is my grandfather’s inspiration that helped me create them, in honor of my his 100th birthday, I’m offering you 50% off either my “Learn to Feel at Home Anywhere in the World” program (gives you an introduction to the core steps of relocating and making friends, satisfying your personal/emotional needs, and adjusting to professional changes) or my “Social Success Strategies” eBook (which is a deep-dive into how and where to make new friends and create a new social network after relocating.)

Just use code GRAMPS100 at checkout.  Offer good through Sunday, October 11th, 2009.

Happy birthday grandpa, and may his inspiration equally help and inspire you to make more friends.

The first eBook in the Learn to Feel at Home Anywhere in the World series is out!

“Social Success Strategies” is all about helping you build up contacts before you move, and then with tips, techniques, and strategies to meet new friends and create a new social network from scratch.  If you’re naturally shy, there are some tips for you, and if you’re feeling like you’ve “already tried everything and nothing works!” pay attention to the beginning of the eBook which gives you possible reasons that nothing is working, and the associated Action Guide will help you dive into the suggested exercises to move past obstacles, and pave the way for your social success!

Click here to read all about it and to get your copy.

Cultural celebrations are a great opportunity to meet new friends. This weekend, I watched the Steuben Day parade in New York which, in itself, was fun and full of fascinating costumes, and I scored a few packs of gummy bears, too! (The parade honors Baron Friedrich von Steuben, who arrived in the United States as a volunteer offering his services to General George Washington. Click here for more information on the history of this celebration.)

While standing on the sidelines, I managed to befriend a lovely German couple, who had come in for the  parade, and seemed to know many of the people who were marching. They provided great information about the parade, and told some very funny jokes! For instance – a city in Germany that has a house high above the city on a hill, that is reputed to be full of kooks and ghosts. A young couple decides to journey up the mountain to see for themselves. They arrive at the house, ring the bell, and an elderly man answers. He invites them in for tea. They accept.

“We were told this house is haunted, and full of kooks!” said the young couple. “What a pleasant surprise.”

“Oh, really?” said the old man. “I’ve lived here for 360 years, and I haven’t seen any kooks.”

Besides the amusing entertainment, everyone flocked to the city’s German bars to enjoy beer, and traditional German fare. I was able to meet a lovely couple over a pint of beer as well.

 Here’s why cultural celebrations are a great place to meet new friends -

1. Everyone is in a festive mood, and open to conversation.
2. It’s easy to start off a conversation by merely being curious about the origins of the celebration
3. There will be a lot of people clustered together in bars and restaurants, so it will be easy to join the party!

So, if you’re looking to meet new people, consider researching when the next local parade or festival is, and jump on the opportunity to

be a part of it.

I feel like I hit the social jackpot! I’ve been challenging myself to follow my own advice and try to meet and get business cards from 4 new friends in 4 weeks, and I did it! And, I got introduced to another event through a new friend, always exciting and inspiring when you’re in a rut. Shown throughout this posting are photos from the art gallery where I was able to see beautiful artwork, and do some excellent people-watching.

1. Several weeks ago, I mentioned that I joined an online community, and attended one of their social events in New York. Prior to the event, I connected with my new friend Chris on the online forum, and we met up at this event.
2. Chris then invited me out with some of his other friends where I began getting to know more wonderful people. (One of them owns an art gallery, and may let me show an exhibit of all my various cow photos!)
3. Tonight, I joined Chris and some friends I had met before, and others who were new to me, at an art gallery. I learned that one of the women I had met a few weeks ago has the exact same birthday as me! It was an instant connection, and we also learned we had a lot in common, so we exchanged cards and plan to get together soon.
4. I met another woman who has had similar life experiences to me, so we also exchanged cards.
5. Upon my return home, I happened to run into one of my new neighbors who seems really sweet. We’ve run into each other a few times and had brief conversations, so this time I said we should get together, and we’re aiming for this weekend!

A reminder of my tips to help you with your social success:

• Join social organizations and attend their events
• Connect with just one person before or at the event
• If you have a good time with them, exchange contact information so you can get together again
• Be open to invitations you may receive from that person, and make your own to them
• When you do accept an invitation, make the effort to mingle with everyone, not just your host
• Again, exchange information with everyone you meet and connect with
• Make more plans!

I feel so inspired by the wonderful new friends I’ve made in the past few weeks, and that I’m meeting people I have a lot in common with. I made it happen through the courage to socialize on my own, openness to meeting new people, exchanging contact information, follow-up, and accepting invitations.

I wish you the same success!

I spent the weekend in two competitions with my new-found friends in the Petanque club I joined.  I’m beginning to feel like a special part of a close-knit community!  Happily, I’ve found something to do that I really enjoy – it enables me to make use of my athletic skills, and puts me in touch with some lovely people, many of whom are French, so I get the added bonus of speaking French whenever I see my new friends!

As my skills improve, I’m earning more and more respect from the other players, many of whom have played Petanque for years.  And, I exchanged numbers with two of the players, so am on my way towards achieving my goal with the 4 new friends in 30 days challenge!

It’s just a complete joy to open up to a new outlet, use skills I otherwise wouldn’t, and to find reliable and interesting people from around the globe with which to converse.

I’m going to challenge all those of you out there struggling to meet new friends to try out a challenge with me.  Make just one new friend every week, for the next 4 weeks.  So, the goal is 4 new friends (or aquaintances to become future friends) in the next 30 days.  Even if you’re seeing this post after I’ve completed my 30 days, I hope that you’ll take it on anyway.

So, here are the guidelines:

1. You can meet one new person a week anyplace you’re comfortable – a store, a party, an event, etc.
2. You have to get contact information – email/phone etc. to be able to follow-up with each person you meet
3. Pay attention to your thoughts and your intentions around making friends over the next 30 days.  Do you notice any shifts?  Do you find more, or fewer opportunties to meet people now that you’re focusing on this?
4. Follow up with each person within one week after meeting them to get together – go to a party, a movie, an event, etc.
5. Post a COMMENT below with your progress! Let me know how you met each person, and what you plan to do as a follow-up

Anyone who completes the challenge by September 23rd, 2009, and comes away with at least 3 new aquaintances and at least 2 follow-ups for getting together with them, I’ll give you a coupon for 25% off my “Learn to Feel at Home Anywhere in the World” program!!!