Building on my last post about the growth in our knowledge of foreign languages, another concept that fascinates me is acronyms.  In American (yes, I am distinguishing American and English as those of you who are British out there, I’m sure agree needs to be done!) I am used to a plethora of 3 and 4 letter acronyms that pervade my life. 

There are the ones that represent organizations and places, such as “The Met” for The Metropolitan Museum of Art, but I’m referring more to the ones that have woven their way into our language and pop up, especially, in text messages, Instant Messages, emails, and so forth.

For example, LOL = Lots of Laughter, LMAO = Laughing My Ass Off.  TMI = Too Much Information….and the list goes on.

So, I don’t know why I should have been so amused, but when my French host family came for a visit, I was introduced to some of their acronyms which are used in the same vein.  It’s this bizarre experience where our languages have something very much in common, but yet, I had a bit of a giggle when they used expressions in French.  Here is one such example.

Camille, one of the 10-year old twin girls (my host niece), was holding my hand one evening as we walked to a restaurant for dinner.  She was hungry and a bit impatient, and asked me how much further we had to walk until we arrived at dinner. 

I responded, “Oh, Camille, actually, we’re not going to dinner right now.  I wanted you to see New York at night, so I’m going to walk you back and forth on every side street, till you’ve seen them all!  We should be done in a couple of days.”

Camille, who has the face of a darling angel, somehow managed to contort it into the perfect blend of synicism and devilish frustration and understanding, and popped out, in the perfect sarcastic tone, “Je meurs de rire.”  (I’m dying laughing.) 

After this phrase had been uttered the first time, I learned that it is referred to as “MDR”, and the remainder of our week contained the acronym “MDR” several times a day. 

Somehow, I feel like I got a little glimpse into a deeper understanding and knowledge of French language and culture, just with a new acronym.  A new phrase and acronym that I can pop out when someone in France tries to get the best of me.

A recent email exchange with my host sister went like this:

Me: “I have some very important news for you!  Remember that beer you introduced me to, Tripel Karmeliet?  I found it at a supermarket near my apartment for $3 less than we paid!”

My Host Sister: “Super!  Have a glass for us!”

Me: “I finished the whole bottle!”

My host sister: “MDR!”

So much can be said with so few words – bridging culture, experience, and friendship.

It’s Culture Transition Tip Tuesday again!

Here is Tip #8

I was recently watching the Lindsay Lohan movie, “Mean Girls” on TV, and a line really caught my attention.  For anyone that hasn’t seen the movie, Lindsay plays the role of a girl who grew up in Africa and has moved to America with her parents and started a new school – something familiar for anyone that moves with a family from one city, or one country, to another.

The line that caught me was when we learn that Lindsay’s character is a math whiz, and someone asks her why.  She replies, “I like math because it’s the same in every country.”  Whenever we travel to an unfamiliar place, we always crave the familiar – I thought this line beautifully illustrated the way it can be so comforting to find yourself in a completely foreign environment, and yet have something familiar upon which to rely which eases your transition experience.

The other part of this movie that I thought pertained to the experience of relocating, is that of fitting in.  I think this is especially meaningful for kids and teenagers going to a new school – the desire is to fit in, and you realize that you may look or dress very differently than everyone around you.  If you’re lucky, you’ll find a couple of friends who accept you as you are.  In the movie, “Mean Girls”, however, Lindsay’s character is exposed to an entire type of schooling that is foreign to her, and high school rivalries, competition, and behavior she doesn’t understand.  In order for her to fit in, she has to shed the person that she is – such as pretending to be stupid to get a boy’s attention, dressing and speaking like the popular girls – until she finally accepts the person that she is, and the consequences for her actions.

When you move to a new place – it’s always a good idea to have something with you that creates the familiar, as well as to seek out something – a restaurant, a park, etc – that allows you to feel comfort on days when you otherwise feel “lost”.  And, though fitting in is important in a new culture, it doesn’t mean you have to become a different person.

** For more ideas on sucessfully transitioning to a new culture and what to expect, click here! **

When you move to a new country, one of the biggest things that can impact your experience is an understanding of not only the language, but how hand gestures are used.

This may sound trivial, but take the sign for “peace” in America, which is 2 fingers raised, and try it in the UK facing the wrong way, you’ve completely insulted someone.  Taking it to extremes, you could find yourself jailed, or fined for something as “trivial” as raising the wrong finger.

For an example, check out this article about a British man in Dubai who has had his passport revoked for raising his middle finger, and may face jail time because it is considered a violation of public decency laws!  The same article mentions a British couple who are facing jail time for kissing in public.

Simply put, if you’re moving to another country, you must make the effort to learn about local hand gestures.  * To learn some important basics about hand gestures, and how to be successful at making new friends after moving to a new country (and not insulting them!) check out The Socialnaire Club *

My ultimate dream is to make a positive difference in people’s lives through coaching and charity. 

Culture Transition Coaching is about helping people overcome the biggest hurdles when they adjust to a new life in an unfamiliar place.  Specifically, the social, personal, and professional challenges you will be faced with the first 12 – 18 months, as well as career development beyond that.  

With the recent tragedies in Haiti and Chile, I wanted to do something more to make a difference.  So, for the month of March, I have decided to merge my two dreams into one – I want to help you, AND, help victims of these two tragedies.  So, during March, buy any Culture Transition Success product, and I will donate HALF, yes 50%, of your purchase price, to the American Red Cross.  Please spread the word! 

Simply visit www.culturetransition.com/products and I will acknowledge the donation after your purchase.

I was recently interviewed on World Coach TV where I explained the mission of Culture Transition Coaching, and gave some helpful tips on relocating.

Enjoy the video by clicking here!

Another way to take care of yourself during hard times, or take a break from a rut is to walk in nature.  Whether that’s a park, or something other, the point is to step into it. I’d suggest brining a journal with you as you never know what epiphanies you’ll have and you won’t want to miss the opportunity to right them down!

In Part One of my recent meditation retreat, I shared some of my learnings from my “inward journey”. As promised there, I’m now going to let you know about a scary hike in the woods that ended up being very insightful!  I was told the hike was beautiful, and there were a few people who had gone walking a few minutes ahead of me, so I figured I’d catch up to them and share the journey.

Instead, I ended up alone, lost, and scared out of my mind! Sometimes, however, fear can be an excellent teacher.

First, the path did not lead where I expected.  I was told it circled the property, but the property soon disappeared, and I found myself walking in the exact  opposite direction, with twists and turns leading me further and further away. This made me panic and I contemplated returning back to the familiar before I got lost. Especially because it started snowing, no one was in site ahead of me, and I feared that the snow would cover the path I was trying to follow and assumed the journey back would be quicker than the one ahead of me.

I got lost in my worries. “If I get lost out here, if it gets too dark to see, will anyone come looking for me? Am I safe out here all alone? Why can’t I find the other hikers, did I take a wrong turn? When will this darn path head in the right direction?  What if it doesn’t?” I soon heard a noise, a branch snapping, and stopped cold. I looked up and saw 6 or 7 deer prancing deep into the woods in the distance, white tails raised behind them. I made a mental note that worrying so much keeps me from being aware of the beauty around me.

the woods were beautiful, gentle snowfall, alone, undisturbed trees standing guard.

The path continued to twist and turn in unexpected directions. I hoped it would lead someplace.

I realized I’m uncomfortable and afraid when wandering aimlessly. Afraid of being lost, and not reaching my goals. I had to push beyond my fear since my goal (the end of the path) was nowhere in sight.

Then I figured the path had to lead somewhere. It had an end. Just maybe not where I expected.

Soon thereafter, I saw a house. I didn’t care who’s house, it was an end to my path! I got closer and saw it was the house in which I was staying, phew! But when I arrived, I noticed I had the choice to follow the path towards it, or to plod onward. I chose the adventure and soon found myself between the house, and the temple on the property. I stood between them and realized that everything around me was the same, but I felt more brave and empowered. So, I ventured onto a small path, a “Meditation Path” I hadn’t noticed before.

I braved ice and twice had to take a literal leap of faith, from a rock, onto snow-covered ground which I didn’t know if it was firm, had ice underneath, or was inches deep. I ended up on my feet both times.

Here’s what I took away from my experience, and the comparisons I saw in a relocation experience:

1. I am afraid when I am in the unknown and feel lost.
2. Sometimes, things don’t go as expected, but following a path can lead to enriching experiences.
3. When panic struck, I immediately wanted to return to the familiar. (When you relocate and feel homesick or depressed, you may yearn for home, what you know, the escape…)
4. When I get stuck worrying and focus so much on life’s problems, I miss the beautiful things around me. (When you focus on all that’s going wrong in your experience, you’re probably not even noticing what’s going right.)
5. I persisted and found my way home, which made me feel inspired. (Often times, if you stay put and brave the journey ahead, you end up stronger for the experience.)
6. I chose a new path.  Courage leads to inspiration!
7. I took two leaps of faith and landed on solid ground, slipping once, but holding my ground, and realized I’m ok! (Relocating is, in it’s own way, a leap of faith. You may slip along the way, but you can find a way to make it work.)

* Research what nearby opportunities you have to walk or spend time in nature. *
** Want to learn more about Kadampa meditation retreats? Visit www.kadampa.org **

Expats will always face cultural differences, but have you considered what it would be like if you moved someplace where corruptive business practices were considered normal or acceptable?

Click here to read a very interesting article suggesting that HR professionals need to prepare expats for questionable business practices depending on the assignment.

The holidays seem to fill the air with uplifted spirits (ok unless you’re trying to do last-minute gift shopping) and tons of people. 

In many places in the world you’ll find traditional holiday decorations and markets filled with happy passerby.

The other thing I’m noticing is how friendly many people seem to be. Last night I grabbed a glass of bubbly with a friend near Rockefeller Center and we chatted with our waiter, Jake, as we tried to figure out a place to eat. He recommended someplace which I have been before and liked and told us his roommate work there and to mention his name for a good table!

So it’s always worth being friendly and open to conversations with new people.

1. You never know how you can help each other out and who else you may meet through someone. 
2. I find that waiters/waitresses, if they are friendly, are easy to have small-talk with, and great resources if you’re looking for something to do in the neighborhood. 
3. If you hit it off, then, as happened to me, they might be able to “hook you up” with good seats, or good service through friends of theirs.

** want more ideas to meet new people and make friends? Check out The Social Success Method **

As you know, my mission is to help people relocating to adjust to and overcome the social, personal, and professional issues that arise after moving to a new city.  One of the biggest difficulties with moving is creating a new social network.  I’m always on the lookout for excellent resources and ideas, and recently found a great organization in Paris called Paris4U.net  I interviewed one of the founders to help you get more information about what it is, and the benefits of joining. 

Q. What is the mission of Paris4U.net?

A. The mission of Paris4U.net is to connect people from different types of backgrounds and cultures living and working in Paris.  We’re here to provide a forum for expatriates living in and around Paris to connect with each other and enhance their experience living abroad. 

Q. What inspired you to start your business, and how long have you been working on it?

A. I myself lived in several countries on various continents. I know for a fact how difficult it is integrate and build a social, personal, professional, and family life, when you arrive in a new country, especially one where the national language is not your mothertongue. It takes time to find out what there is to discover, what to do, whom to meet, where to go, how to find your marks, how to organize your leisures, etc… I hope the site will be a platform allowing all nationalities and cultures to gather, discuss, talk, meet, enjoy Paris together. The site itself is brand-new, it just recently started.

Q. What are some of the benefits of signing up to become a member at Paris4U.net?

A. Paris4u provides a venue for those living in and around Paris to communicate and interact with one another in English.  This includes the ability to put up classifieds, create events, and even the ability to communicate with each other via the forums.

Q. What expansion plans do you have – I think you may be offering your services in different cities soon?

Ultimately, we plan on creating a template using Paris4u as an example to expand to other cities globally.  Our next goal will be NYC.

Q.  Is there anything else people should know about you and Paris4U.net?

A. Paris4u is will be constantly evolving over the next few weeks and we want to provide our members with a more personal experience.  This means we are always looking for more input, suggestions, ideas on what the members would want/need or like to see.  We also plan on taking advantage of various social networks such as facebook and youtube to tap into a wider audience.

** Do you know of or have an excellent resource for networking where you live?  Post a comment here and tell me about it! **

** Want to relocate with ease, and avoid or overcome the social, personal, and professional challenges that you’ll confront? Check out The Relocation Success System!