At last – finally The New York Times has realized that expat spouses are important enough to write about, as is the loss of revenue to companies who do not take care of their happiness on an expat assignment.

Click here to read the full article – you need to read this!

Great news!  One of my esteemed Expat Coach colleagues, Doris Fuellgrabe, will be giving a fantastic presentation on expat support, and the importance of ROI (Return on Investment) when considering an expat experience.

When: Thursday, June 2nd, 12pm Eastern

Cost: Free!

To learn more, and to attend this FREE teleseminar, please click here! And re-tweet to anyone that might be interested!

Building on my last post about the growth in our knowledge of foreign languages, another concept that fascinates me is acronyms.  In American (yes, I am distinguishing American and English as those of you who are British out there, I’m sure agree needs to be done!) I am used to a plethora of 3 and 4 letter acronyms that pervade my life. 

There are the ones that represent organizations and places, such as “The Met” for The Metropolitan Museum of Art, but I’m referring more to the ones that have woven their way into our language and pop up, especially, in text messages, Instant Messages, emails, and so forth.

For example, LOL = Lots of Laughter, LMAO = Laughing My Ass Off.  TMI = Too Much Information….and the list goes on.

So, I don’t know why I should have been so amused, but when my French host family came for a visit, I was introduced to some of their acronyms which are used in the same vein.  It’s this bizarre experience where our languages have something very much in common, but yet, I had a bit of a giggle when they used expressions in French.  Here is one such example.

Camille, one of the 10-year old twin girls (my host niece), was holding my hand one evening as we walked to a restaurant for dinner.  She was hungry and a bit impatient, and asked me how much further we had to walk until we arrived at dinner. 

I responded, “Oh, Camille, actually, we’re not going to dinner right now.  I wanted you to see New York at night, so I’m going to walk you back and forth on every side street, till you’ve seen them all!  We should be done in a couple of days.”

Camille, who has the face of a darling angel, somehow managed to contort it into the perfect blend of synicism and devilish frustration and understanding, and popped out, in the perfect sarcastic tone, “Je meurs de rire.”  (I’m dying laughing.) 

After this phrase had been uttered the first time, I learned that it is referred to as “MDR”, and the remainder of our week contained the acronym “MDR” several times a day. 

Somehow, I feel like I got a little glimpse into a deeper understanding and knowledge of French language and culture, just with a new acronym.  A new phrase and acronym that I can pop out when someone in France tries to get the best of me.

A recent email exchange with my host sister went like this:

Me: “I have some very important news for you!  Remember that beer you introduced me to, Tripel Karmeliet?  I found it at a supermarket near my apartment for $3 less than we paid!”

My Host Sister: “Super!  Have a glass for us!”

Me: “I finished the whole bottle!”

My host sister: “MDR!”

So much can be said with so few words – bridging culture, experience, and friendship.

One of the tough things about moving to another country is learning a new language, as many of us know well!  You may be a grown man or woman, and being unable to ask basic questions, and ask for basic needs, can make you feel like a child all over again, which is doubly frustrating when you know you are able to communicate well in your own language.

On the flip side – once you learn a new language, it amazes me at how much learning there is, and how, years later, there is still more to learn past basic grammatical skills!  This was outlined for me this week during a wonderful visit from one of my French host families.  I’ve spoken French for over 25 years, and consider myself fluent in the language.  Not only can I hold my own, but I can make puns and understand movies without subtitles.  One of the interesting discussions I had with my host family is the “ne pas” in French.  For those who don’t know, French people often say things like “il ne fait pas chaud”, literally, “it’s not very hot out”.  There is an emphasis on the negative.  So, instead of saying “the food is good”, they would say, “the food is not bad”.

For years, I had presumed this was simply a cultural emphasis on the negative.  What I learned, all these years later, is that it is really about being in the middle!  In other words, the “it’s not” comes into play when it is neither hot, nor cold, for example.  If it’s freezing cold out, they would say “it’s freezing out!”  If the food is fantastic, you’ll hear “it’s delicious!”.  If it’s just ok, then “it’s not bad”. 

My point here is that language is of intimate importance when crossing cultures, and I guess I never realized how many levels of learning there are, and that the learning never ends!  There is the infant stage, where you learn “I am”, “I have”, “where’s the bathroom”, etc.  There is the middle ground where you don’t need to rely on your dictionary for every phrase, and you even dream in another language!  There’s the fluent stage, where you speak without thought, and can understand every situation.  And then, there is the wonderful part where you get to develop insight into a language, and a culture, by understanding how, and why, they communicate as they do.

So, if you’re in that infant stage, may you look forward to much learning!

The Expat Coach Directory recently celebrated it’s one year anniversary and we’ve completely redesigned it to be more user friendly for you!  I am very excited to announce that you can now search for an Expat Coach by geography, languges spoken, and more!  Please come check us out at www.theexpatcoachdirectory.com

We are still the #1 result for “Expat Coach” at www.google.com and welcome your feedback, and if you’re an Expat Coach, would love to have you join us!

Whether you are a company or the person/family traveling overseas, knowing what support is available, and what to invest in, is of crucial importance.

Learn the tips you need from Expat Coach Doris Fuellgrabe by clicking here.

Being abroad during a catastrophe always makes a huge impact on one’s life.  Last night, I had dinner at my local Japanese bar/restaurant, and I greeted the bartender by asking if everyone he knew is ok – I wanted to be sure that his friends and family were all right.

He replied that “everyone he knows” is ok, but found it very interesting that his experience with Americans is that we are always concerned with “everyone we know”, rather than the greater group of people.  It wasn’t a judgment, just a remark, which was spot on.  I never thought about that, but it’s true, every time I have asked my Japanese friends/family for news, it’s been about loved ones.  In fact, another patron walked in after me, and did the same as I – “Sorry for what happened.  Is your family ok?”

So fascinating how different cultures perceive and behave in light of catastrophe.  What’s your experience with this?

I recently met a wonderful Australian woman spending time in California. Though she was only spending about a week there, she was noticing that she had to repeat herself several times in order to be understood to most people.

One of the things I think few people prepare for, when moving to another country where people speak the “same language”, say US to England, or Scotland, or Australia, etc, is that it’s not the same language at all!

Accents are difficult enough to have you realize “you’re not in Kansas anymore” and words that are basic to your vocabulary may become intolerably difficult to speak and hear. However words themselves may be vastly different in spelling or meaning or pronunciation. Consider:

Aluminum Foil vs Aluminium

Fag = cigarette in England, and is quite insulting in America

Some English speaking countries also bring in rhyming expressions you’ll never figure out without a good dictionary, like “Apples and Pears” for stairs, or “Sceptic Tanks” for Yanks!

So, if you’re planning a move to a country where you think things will be easy because the language is the same, you’ll be setting yourself up for quite a shock. Instead, try spending some time before you move actually looking at dictionaries, or, better yet, speaking with people from that country to get used to the accent and words.

Sometimes when you’re stuck in a rut, or feel a bit lost in a new place, one of the greatest things to do is something you haven’t before!

I was reminded of this recently when I took a Zumba class at the gym for the first time.  I got to move parts of me I had forgotten I had, my body loosened up, and it was exhillarating joy to dance to great music along with some great ladies.  The best part was that half the time I had no idea what I was doing, and nobody cared!  Having been in so many classes where everyone has to get the move just right, this was such a release and relief from perfection and much appreciated.

So, the next time you feel stuck, or lost, just go out into your neighborhood, or your gym, and try something you’ve never experienced before.  It goes a long way towards reviving your spirits.

The crisis in Egypt reminds me how difficult it is to be an Expat, living away from home, during a time of unrest, and worried about the safety of loved ones still there.  I remember being stuck in Australia on September 11th.  I will never forget it, and the feelings of helplessness that go along with being far from home, and unable to know if family and close friends are ok.

Even if your Expat experience is going very well, moments like this can throw you for a loop.  You can’t predict them, and if you don’t have a way to stay in reliable contact with loved ones, and you can’t be with them, you may feel homesick.

So, what do you do to handle times like this?  Here are a few suggestions, and feel free to add your own -

• If you are able to connect with anyone from home, make immediate plans and backup plans, on how best to communicate.  Get clear information on whether or not telephones, cell phones, internet connection, etc are available to them, and what their emergency plans are.
• If you can’t connect with anyone from home, make a list of other friends and family you have in other places, and reach out to them to see if they have heard from your loved ones.  If they have, ask them to keep you informed should they hear anything further.
• See if there is a local Embassy, Consulate, Meetup Group or any other kind of formal gathering of people from your home nation.  Join their events to connect with other people sharing the same concerns as you, and to stay up-to-date on events.
• Monitor your stress and make sure you find an outlet for it