Happy New Year!

The cow, er, cat, is out of the bag, so I thought it was time to make a big announcement for 2012!  You may have noticed a bit of a trickle in the number of posts on my blog.  2011 was a challenging year for me, personally, and I opted to transform the painful experience I endured into a new business venture, called “The BullBuster Cafe”.

You can learn more about my new business at www.thebullbustercafe.com

Note – I will still be supporting my Culture Transition products, and I am still running The Expat Coach Association and Directory.  As an Expat, you may find BullBusting to be a more creative way to look at adapting to new cultures, and I may yet integrate the two concepts into a product, so stay tuned.  Also – if you have a business that supports Expats, I am more than happy to post information about you and your services, in the spirit of helping this wonderful community!

If you want to reach me, and read my current blog, just head on over to www.thebullbustercafe.com

And, enjoy 2012!

Great news!  One of my esteemed Expat Coach colleagues, Doris Fuellgrabe, will be giving a fantastic presentation on expat support, and the importance of ROI (Return on Investment) when considering an expat experience.

When: Thursday, June 2nd, 12pm Eastern

Cost: Free!

To learn more, and to attend this FREE teleseminar, please click here! And re-tweet to anyone that might be interested!

I recently read the book “The Pilgrimage” by Paulo Coelho. It’s a story of a spiritual journey one man undergoes, seemingly for his sword, and everything he learns about himself along the journey.

One paragraph in particular stood out to me with regard to the process of transitioning cultures:

“When you travel, you experience, in a very practical way, the act of rebirth.  You confront completely new situations, the day passes more slowly, and on most journeys you don’t even understand the language people speak.  So, you are like a child just out of the womb.  You begin to attach much more importance to the things around you because your survival depends upon them.  You begin to be more accessible to others because they may be able to help you in difficult situations.  And you accept any small favor from the gods with great delight, as if it were an episode you would remember for the rest of your life.”

I liked how this touched upon many of the feelings an expat may have crossing cultures.  Feeling like a child just born one can simultaneously experience great joy at discovering a new culture, and great frustration trying to learn a new language and fit in and find something familiar.  You actually notice your environment because it’s unfamiliar and you’re getting to know what parts you like and dislike, and you pay attention to how people behave, and you wonder who can help you, and even someone who just helps you with directions when you’re having a meltdown because your city map doesn’t have the tiny street you’re trying to find, and you have no idea what to do and you’re running late is like a major hero!

What are some of your memories of your early days as an expat?  Looking for an Expat Coach?  Check out The Expat Coach Directory!

This week, I had the honor of presenting  a workshop called, “How to Ace Your Interview Through Positive Self Perception” for a wonderful organization called Career Gear.  Career Gear helps men with difficult pasts to build brilliant futures. 

I found some of my feelings about this experience similar to transitioning cultures.  I’ve never been in a roomful of people before that have pasts including crime and incarceration, who have worked very hard to turn their lives around.  So, I had no idea what to expect.  I guess my experiences crossing cultures have taught me, first and foremost, that pre-judgments do more to hurt you than help you, and I walked into the room expecting simply mutual respect.  Well, it turned out that these men were simply brilliant – they were sensitive, had fantastic questions (in fact, so many that they asked me to come back a second time so I could continue my workshop!) and really help one another out.

I have to say that this experience made me proud to be a coach, to be able to help these guys look at their own self-perceptions, and actually shift them, was an entirely rewarding experience.  We covered a lot of ground on the interview experience – one of the things that seemed most fascinating is that we all find the interview process a challenge!  There will always be a question that we’re not comfortable with, regardless of our past, and normalizing this common feeling seemed inspiring.  (For those of you out there that may be interviewing in the US job market, one of the facts that got their attention, that might help you, is that these days your resume won’t even make it in the door unless you find the hiring manager, and properly keyword your resume.  Sending emails to the address in a job ad will land your resume in the trash, sadly.)

When we talk about transitioning cultures, we normally think about crossing countries, or even cities.  But this experience taught me how fundamental the concept of “culture” can be.  Even right within your own town, there are likely to be many cultures, existing side by side.  We may focus on the language and country ones, but I find it fascinating that culture can also apply to your background, your values, corporations, etc - and the challenges that create hardship when trying to relate can fall away with a simple tweak in perception.  I am sure that those of you reading this who are Expats or Accompanying Spouses have some experience that you approached in a specific way that caused an issue.  And then, when you changed how you looked at that same situation, you probably had an entirely different outcome.  If you apply this same principle to crossing cultures – namely changing your perception, you are likely to have a lot more success adapting to new countries, new jobs, and more!

* Need a presenter for your workshop on career or culture transition experiences?  Contact me for more information. *

I wrote a previous post on the way movies and TV can tell you a lot about a given culture.  Recently, I saw the US film, “Dinner for Schmucks”.  It is a remake of the French film “Le diner de cons”.  The US movie, in my opinion, was a clear example of how comedy does not translate from one culture to another.

French comedy has a specific and tight formula.  I’m not sure I can accurately describe it, but it works, and it’s masterful.  It is also subtle.  Each actor contributes to a larger story, and the story simply wouldn’t work if one actor had more presence.  What often hits me about French comedy is how much you feel that they are not trying to be funny, rather, they are simply being themselves, very strong in their personal beliefs and behaviors.  Every action is a natural one stemming from their inner belief and they are more focused on their natural point of view than they are with being on camera and being big.

The US translation of this comedy was to apply more of a slapstick routine.  Steve Carrell takes up the whole movie – he is big, and has more presence than the other characters.  He is so silly that it feels forced.  Rather than being funny, he comes across as annoying.  I spent most of the movie contemplating whether to walk out at this poor translation – you simply cannot turn subtle French comedy into US slapstick.   The US version made me cringe at the behavior, whereas the French one left me annoyed but wanting to see what would happen next because the ridiculousness was simply fascinating. 

The timing of things in the US version seems forced, whereas in French comedy, it somehow comes together much better.  American comedy is obvious, going right for the jugular, French comedy is less direct, and more surprising.  I think it is this cultural difference – subtle vs. obvious – that makes for a poor translation.

I’m not saying one way is better than the other, I’m simply noticing that when you try to adapt comedy from one culture to another, sometimes it just isn’t funny.

Welcome back to Culture Transition Tip Tuesday!

Here is Tip #7

Welcome back to Culture Transition Tip Tuesday!

Here is Tip #6

Welcome back to Culture Transition Tip Tuesday!

Here is Tip #5

I was recently watching the Lindsay Lohan movie, “Mean Girls” on TV, and a line really caught my attention.  For anyone that hasn’t seen the movie, Lindsay plays the role of a girl who grew up in Africa and has moved to America with her parents and started a new school – something familiar for anyone that moves with a family from one city, or one country, to another.

The line that caught me was when we learn that Lindsay’s character is a math whiz, and someone asks her why.  She replies, “I like math because it’s the same in every country.”  Whenever we travel to an unfamiliar place, we always crave the familiar – I thought this line beautifully illustrated the way it can be so comforting to find yourself in a completely foreign environment, and yet have something familiar upon which to rely which eases your transition experience.

The other part of this movie that I thought pertained to the experience of relocating, is that of fitting in.  I think this is especially meaningful for kids and teenagers going to a new school – the desire is to fit in, and you realize that you may look or dress very differently than everyone around you.  If you’re lucky, you’ll find a couple of friends who accept you as you are.  In the movie, “Mean Girls”, however, Lindsay’s character is exposed to an entire type of schooling that is foreign to her, and high school rivalries, competition, and behavior she doesn’t understand.  In order for her to fit in, she has to shed the person that she is – such as pretending to be stupid to get a boy’s attention, dressing and speaking like the popular girls – until she finally accepts the person that she is, and the consequences for her actions.

When you move to a new place – it’s always a good idea to have something with you that creates the familiar, as well as to seek out something – a restaurant, a park, etc – that allows you to feel comfort on days when you otherwise feel “lost”.  And, though fitting in is important in a new culture, it doesn’t mean you have to become a different person.

** For more ideas on sucessfully transitioning to a new culture and what to expect, click here! **

It’s Culture Transition Tip Tuesday again!

Here is tip #4