I was recently watching a cute flick (well, I guess it could be considered cheesy, but hey, I thought it was cute!)  In it, the main character, Daphne, an American from New York, goes off to London as a teenager to find and meet her father.

While in England, she encounters massive cultural shifts.  Her father is a Lord, and is running for political office. He is surrounded by demanding political advisors, and a social-climbing fiancee.  Daphne, who is accustomed to casual dress, a tiny apartment, and very low-key lifestyle, enters into a world of wealth, a huge house, and frequent parties with royalty for which she must wear elegant gowns.  She hugs her grandmother, who retorts, “No hugs, I’m British.  We only show affection for dogs and horses.”  Her father’s fiancee and her daughter are bent on getting Daphne to leave as soon as possible – sabotaging her efforts as often as possible.

The movie, despite whether or not you like it, demonstrates some important things to focus on when transitioning cultures and trying to make new friends :

1. Be aware of cultural habits when it comes to greeting and showing appreciation.  In the film, Amanda Bynes is accustomed to hugging everyone, but the people she encounters find this too personal. You may have to alter your normal style to fit in, at least to start.
2. Notice how people dress.  The obvious changes are in formal parties – of course you’d expect to dress more formally than day-to-day wear.  But, take a look at day-to-day dress as well.  The very clothes you wear can serve to keep you isolated, or bring you closer to those around you.
3. Focus on the people that take a liking to you.  If you find yourself feeling that the people you’d most like to be friends with aren’t welcoming you, then focus your efforts and attention on the people that DO want to be friends.  It could be a local shopkeeper, or someone  you least expect.  Shift your attention towards them!

* For more help on making new friends after moving, click here! *

I just returned from vacation in Arizona and I feel like I had many observations that are similar to those you have at the start of a relocation.

First, there was the visible landscape change.  In New York City, we have lots of tall buildings, buses, cabs, lots of people.  In Sedona, Arizona, there are mountains, beautiful red rock, grass, low buildings, and a lack of the plethora of transportation choices.

The summer heat forced me to change my habits.  I tend to sleep in when not working, and go out later in the afternoon.  In Sedona, the afternoons were so hot that physical activity left me dehydrated, and I took to waking up at 6am for a morning hike. So, I had to adapt and change some of my physical habits in order to deal with the natural climate differences.

Talking to people was somehow easier.  Everyone was very friendly, and open to eye contact, smiling, and conversation.  I even made a new friend! She and I ended up having lunch and dinner together most days, and we have a lot in common, so are staying in touch, too.

 One morning, while hiking with my new friend, we met a man running after his dog. The man shouted, “My dog is my trainer.  I’ve been running after him for 7 years and I still haven’t caught up.”  When I stooped down to pet his dog, the man said a great life philosophy in passing, “Love and food, that’s all you need!” I loved how, by observing life through the eyes of an animal, my whole perspective was shifted. The next day, I saw this duo again, and as the man ran by, I asked if I could quote him.  He replied, “You need some clothes once in a while, too.”

The other unbelievable experience I had with an animal (insect) was a dragonfly.  Hard to capture in a photo, but shown here is the one that landed on my shorts and crawled up to my shirt, and sat there for about 30 minutes.  I swear to you, it turned, looked up at me, and waived. And, even when I moved, it did not leave.  In fact, the friend I was with had a rough time getting it off of me!  I’ve never seen anything like it as the ones I am accustomed to are so busy flying about they don’t have time to stop.  Any thoughts to what this all symbolizes!  Please, add a comment below, I’d love to hear your thoughts!

It’s much easier to hear your thoughts, and to see the stars, and boy are they gorgeous!  I did a star gazing tour, and saw 4 of the moons surrounding Jupiter! Shown here, though perhaps difficult to see, is Scorpius – which we cannot see on the East coast, so I love seeing it in Arizona!

The pace of life was much slower than in New York.  Anything you did required a wait on line. Driving was slower.  Rather than cut one another off, people would get out of the way, and make room for others.

I also saw wildlife I had never even heard of.  One morning, I opened my hotel room door and found myself looking at a javelina.  It’s like a wild boar, and I think we were both stunned.  I had to take a photo because I thought I was dreaming.  The photo looks like a dream because it was so early, but I do have proof!

I found myself encouraged to leave the burden of my possessions behind, and simply sit in nature, and be fully present.

In bookstores – all the books are about New Age matters, and there’s a tiny section for the most recent mainstream paperbacks, which always makes me laugh.  In New York, you have to sort of look left and right, and do a walkby, and not spend too much time in the New Age section, as if it’s a bit taboo, so it is an interesting difference!

Returning to NYC has felt like a whirlwind.  I find I get sucked into the mad dash for the subway, for no reason other than everyone else is doing it, so I feel I need to as well.  We’re all racing to be first to the staircase, first to the train, etc. with no regard for one another, or letting someone pass.  In fact, it’s like a necessary habit to fit in – you have to cut people off to move forward.  I’m trying to stay in the energy of my vacation, but it does get tough!

I recall some of these same types of experiences with relocating. On the way to someplace new – you are bombarded with changes – different behaviors, different rhythms, a literally different pace of life, among others.  And, on the way back, you realize you’ve shifted outside your “normal” patterns, which once so familiar, now seem quite odd, and you resist acclimating back.

So, if you’re relocating, prepare yourself to notice many new things!