Those that know me well, know that I am very fond of cows, following my experience living on a farm in Normandy, France. While out for a walk today, I happened across a couple of cows who made me think of some helpful tips for relocating. At the very least, this little article will hopefully make you laugh!

Cows are naturally curious. Curiousity is at the core of meeting new friends, discovering new activities, and learning about new cultures. Make sure to follow your own sense of curiousity.

Flies are always pestering cows, but they learn to put up with them. Wherever it is that you move, something will definitely bug you. It might be the weather, the food, the bureaucracy, for example. If you can find a way to accept and deal with the things that bug you, you’ll have a much easier time with your transition.

The friendlier the cow, the more I want to feed it some hay. Some cows have no hesitation walking right up to me. Other cows seem timid or fearful. Eventually, if a shy cow doesn’t feel like budging, I’m not going to feel like coercing it. When you walk into social situations, the more adept you become at walking up to new people and starting a conversation, the more likely they will give you their card so that you can begin turning an aquaintance into a friend.

Even though breeds of cow may vary, they’re all still cows. Whether a cow is big, small, black and white, or brown, I still love them for being cows. When you relocate, you’ll meet very different people – they’ll look different, behave differently, and maybe even speak another language. However, if you can look beyond the surface, you’ll find you’re still surrounded by wonderful people whom you can become great friends with, despite how different they are from your friends back home.

Cows are not afraid to stare at you. It can be very jarring when someone stares at you because you feel so noticed. But wherever you are in the world, eye-contact is the first step towards establishing contact and conversation.

Cows are less shy when they know you. The first day I visited these cows, they stayed at a bit of a distance, though were clearly

curious about me. When I went back a second time, they actually had no hesitation coming over to me and actually dared to sniff my hands. Similarly, if you are naturally shy,putting yourself into situations (classes, volunteering, etc) where you see the same people over and over again will make it easier for you to walk over and talk to them.

My colleague, and member of the ever-growing Culture Transition Community, Anja Luesink, sent me an article I think you’ll enjoy. It’s about how our cultural background impacts our views about money, and how to deal with a financial crisis.  Whether you hoard money, save it, or take big risks – this is a worthwhile read to understand where your views might come from.  Click here to read the full article.

This is a fascinating article about overcoming cultural misperceptions between Emirati and Expat women in the UAE.  It’s about an interesting project started by three Emirati women to help women be at the forefront of greater social integration in the UAE and to help young Emirati women to step confidently into the workplace

Click here to read the full article.

Often times when we move, especially to another country, we are confronted with the things we take for granted, and it can be a jarring experience.

As an example, I recently took a bus in New York City.  When we arrived at my stop, there was a small family of what I presume were Asian tourists. They stood in front of me, by the exit door.  When the bus stopped, and the light came on, indicating that we could open the door and exit, the family simply stood in the doorway, waiting.

It occurred to me that some countries have public transportation with doors that open automatically at every stop, and that this family was simply behaving as they do back home, and waiting for this activity they take for granted to happen.  Once they realized it would not, they looked around, bewildered.  I pointed to the “open door strip”, which they pushed, opening the door, and enabling us to get off.

The really funny part is that no one looked for the manual solution – grasping the door handle and pushing the door open with our hands!  

Though experiences like these could lead to homesickness, the important thing to remember is that these behavior changes are a normal part of the transition process.  Take the opportunity to recognize the differences, learn to adapt, and then hopefully have a good laugh!

One other thing I thought about on my most recent trip to France are some of the striking differences in how we live.

In the US, work is a way of life.  We live to work, and often judge success on how much money we earn, how much we own (typically real estate and cars), what country clubs we’re a member of, etc.

In France, work is simply a means to an end.  True living is spending time with friends and family. It doesn’t matter so much how much you own, it’s more important to be surrounded with loved ones.

In the US, I’ve experienced a lot of working through a meal – whether alone or with a team, it’s extremely common to forego lunch, or eat it at your desk while working. When home, even with family, TV dinners are very common.

In France, meal time is sacred!  This is a time to actually digest your food, and not be at work.  It is also acceptable to drink wine even at lunch in the middle of the day.  I remember, working in Paris, we had beer in the office refridgerator! Spouses sometimes go home at lunch to eat with family.   And, the concept of a TV dinner in France is completely absurd.  Meal time is an occasion to speak to one another, be philosophical, analyitcal, but most important, to relate with one another.

These traditions are also reflected in our food – in the US, we’re all about fast food. Whether McDonald’s Burger King, or a plethora of selections in the Frozen Food section, you’d think we don’t have time to eat.  Looking at New York, there are some small markets, but most are considered like a delicacy, a place to go once in a while. In France, markets are abundant, happen several days a week, are open to all, and offer exceptionally fresh produce. Many people consider the markets a food staple and shop at the markets each week.  Cooking from scratch is a cultural requirement, whereas, in the US, buying pre-chopped, pre-cleaned, pre-cooked food is the norm when it comes to cooking at home.

Work and Food are two very important pieces of culture.  The two say a lot about a country’s pasttimes, and social norms.  In Spain, there is a Siesta in the middle of the day – time to be with family, or get some rest for what is often a long night spent with friends and family enjoying their company.  The English and Irish do a lot of socializing in pubs, which is why you often find an extensive food menu here, as opposed to the American bar which is more about cocktails and nibbles.

So, as you adjust to wherever you are, take note of these traditions.  If you’re from a country where socializing is not common, or, you are more introverted, you may need to step out of your shell a bit to experience the world around you, and participate in a more social world than you’re accustomed to. If you are a “meat and potatoes” kind of person, make the effort to at least try some new food, at least once – believe me, it’s a lot easier to find restaurants, and food in general, if you’re open to trying new things.