While I’m on my series of “trivial” things that can cause culture shock, I realized on my recent trip to Florida that animals are yet another thing you don’t always think about as causing this common feeling.

One of the things I like best about visiting my mom in Florida is seeing all the lizards everywhere.  I try to slowly approach them and photograph them before they leap (yes, they really leap!) or run off.  Lizards, you see, are not something common to Manhattan, except, perhaps, in my local pet store.  Even then, they do not have all the varieties that exist in Florida, nor the enjoyment of open space within which to reign.

In Australia, I absolutely loved the kangaroos and went to many zoos and refuges to feed them.  Australians I met, however, considered them rats or roadkill!  But, if you are Australian and accustomed to kangaroos and koalas, and you move away from home, you will no longer find these animals anyplace but, perhaps, the zoo.

Seeing animals you have never seen around you in the wild, or the absence of such animals, can easily cause you to miss home.  This can also make you realize how different your current surroundings are from the place you’ve moved.  You might miss them, you might look forward to discovering them, but either way, this is yet another “small” example of the things you might overlook when relocating.

One of the enormous cultural differences I have observed between France and the US is how we react to political issues and challenges.

In France, when a political situation arises, say wage cuts, or increased retirement ages, the people SHOW their discontentment. They manifest all over the country, they strike, and take action in any way they can to overturn the government’s policies. It may not always work (there is a fine line between strikers and public sympathy that influences type and duration of the strike- about 5 days) but they never fail to take that action.

Conversely, in the US, when we are angered by a political decision, we bitch and complain. We read our newspapers, talk about how dreadful the situation is,…talk talk talk. There might be a central gathering/peaceful protest, in, say, Washington, DC. Some people might even write a letter or add their email address to an online petition, to voice their complaint. But, overall, we behave subservient to the government we, after all, put in place.

It’s an interesting irony. Neither one is right or wrong, but I’m of the opinion that if something really bothers you, and you really want it to change, you need to take action, not just sit around and talk about it.

What’s your opinion?

As an American woman living in New York, without, um, enhancing myself, I have spent much of my life surrounded by women who have made the choice to get breast implants.  So, I have adjusted to being naturally smaller, and, recently had to return a dress to Ann Taylor.  Why?  It was my size, and fit perfectly, except that the top was made for a woman several cup sizes larger than me.  The reality is, clothing in the US is more and more being made for women with enlarged breasts, much to my dismay. 

So, when I recently went to France on vacation and ventured into several boutiques to buy clothes, I was pleasantly enthralled.  First off, French clothing just seems generally more tailored to a woman’s body, and more feminine than the clothing in the US.  However, I found myself having to buy larger shirt sizes than usual.  In two separate stores in Paris, a sales woman helping me remarked that I needed the larger size, not because of my body, but because of my chest!  I thanked the second one, and informed her that no saleswomen in the US even notice my chest, and I thanked her for noticing!

So, for all the ladies out there who don’t plan on breast implants – try a trip to France to feel more endowed!

The final thing I noticed on my recent trip to Ireland as a big difference between life in New York, and life in Dublin, was eye contact.

This is, in my opinion, one of the oddest cultural differences I have experienced – most noteably because of its impact on me.  In New York, you can go an entire day without making eye contact with anyone.  In fact, depending on where you are, and the situation, making eye contact could actually get you in trouble, or start a fight!  It seems like we go to great lengths to avoid eye contact, and sometimes, if you try, it may actually be taken almost as a challenge.

In Dublin, however, people actually look one another in the eye.  Walking down the street, most of the people I passed looked me in the eye – either staring, or with a smile.  It made me feel noticed.    This is no small thing – if you come from a place where eye contact is normal, and move someplace where it is not, this seemingly small action can actually lead you to feel isolated and depressed.  I really noticed how deep it hit me to be noticed.  I was almost laughing at this because, living in New York, I don’t even realize I’m missing it.  But in Ireland, this very small action, had very huge meaning.

Another significant difference, on this same level, was that people noticed themselves around others.  What I mean by this is that if someone bumped in to me, they always turned, looked at me, and apologized.  They treat one another with a certain level of respect, even in a big city.  In New York, passerby don’t even seem to notice one another, even if they smack you with a large, heavy bag.  They keep going, unobservant, and uncaring, a good part of the time.

Awareness of self, and those around you, play a key role in your adapting to a new culture. 

* For other ways to successfully adapt to a new culture, click here! *

Continuing on with things I noticed about Ireland that were huge differences from what I’m used to in the US, cell phone usage was another big and unexpected difference.

In the US, I feel we’re at the point of complete rudeness, and gadget dependence.  I often catch myself checking emails on my iPhone, not because I need to, but simply because I can.  At restaurants, I am often aggravated by people that have their cell phone either on the table, or in a bag, and the phone rings and vibrates loudly enough that the entire restaurant can hear, even if they don’t plan to answer!  I wonder why it’s so important for all of us to hear their cell phone ringing – does it mean they are more important?  And, often times, people take their calls at dinner, in the midst of a nice restaurant.  Worse yet, I have seen tables of teenagers, all of whom are texting on their cell phones, instead of talking to one another!  If people take calls on public transportation, it seems they think they are in their living room, speaking in such loud voices you could probably hear them 100 miles away.  I’ve been subjected to all kinds of stories about bad boyfriends, run downs of a day’s activities, gossip about the neighbor, and once I even heard a guy order pizza delivery, shouting out his address on a public bus.  All this to say, it seems that we treat gadgets with more importance than people, in the US. (Judgment call!  I’m not saying everyone does this, but a lot of us do!)

So, in Ireland, I was pleasantly astounded to see a completely different treatment of cell phones.  One morning, during breakfast at our hotel, a table of women was busily chatting when one of their cell phones started ringing.  The phone was in the bag of the woman who had stepped away to get some juice, and one of her friends ran over to her bag, pulled out the phone, and made the rining stop, evidently quite distressed that it was on.  When the other woman returned, she was reprimanded by her friends, and then the phone rang again.  Rather than answer it, she turned it off, or thought she had, until it rang a third time!  Her friends were very annoyed with her, looking around embarrasingly as if to say “excuse our rude friend”, and told her to turn off the phone.

One evening, I met some friends for dinner – a husband and wife who are busy people, one of whom works in Telecommunications and is on his phone all the time.  Even he turned off the phone when we joined him, and his wife, when she needed to check on her children and be sure they were doing their homework, actually stepped away from the table and took the entire call out of visibility from our table.

I had the impression that in Ireland, there are very clear ideas of appropriate cell phone use, and that people are more important than gadgets.

* For more ideas on cultural differences, click here! *

I was recently on holiday in Ireland, and a few cultural differences caught my eye.  I thought it would be interesting to discuss them because these are some of the things that can impact your experience when crossing cultures.  It’s often some of the more subtle aspects that have a profound impact.  This is part one of my musings on Ireland vs US culture.

One of the biggest “shocks” I had was how differently time, and precision, are treated in Ireland vs America.  Living in New York, I am used to appointments being punctual, everyone being in a hurry to get someplace, and frustration when anything runs late.  In fact, it is somewhat rude and insulting to be late for an appointment in New York, unless, of course, you have contacted the person you’re meeting to explain, in advance, that you will be late.

So, when I arranged a bus tour with my mum, and our hotel told us it departed at “half nine” (9:30), we both raced through our morning activities, and took a taxi as we would otherwise have been about 10 minutes late.  We arrived at the point of departure, the Irish Tourist Office, at about 9:23, and breathed a sigh of relief.  We checked in, and were informed that the tour was actually departing at 9:55, and they would come get us at the waiting area.  We were both quite surprised, and figured maybe this was a ploy to get us to wonder around the souvenir shop and buy something.  9:55 came and went.  10:00 came and went.  Finally, at about 10:15, we were led out to our bus!  We quickly learned that time is a loose concept in Ireland, and I even met an Irish man on our plane ride home who suggested you shouldn’t plan on being on a hurry when in Ireland, so I told him he would find everyone in quite a rush in New York!

The other frustration (that later made me laugh) was the imprecision of directions.  I’m used to being given an end point complete with street name and cross streets, as well as general guidelines how to get there.  In Dublin, at the Tourist Office, I was told that I’d find a specific bus stop right by the Molly Malone statue.  “It’s very easy to find the statue – head out the door, and it’s just down the road, to your right.”  Well, I tell you, I walked down the road to the right, and didn’t find it!  It wasn’t till the next day, walking in the same area, that I realized it was down the right, and then a LEFT turn onto Graffton Street to find Molly.  I kept being told how “well endowed” the statue was, and that I couldn’t miss her, but all I saw were various male statues, covered in robes.  If only someone had said “at the cross streets of Graffton and Suffolk”, I would have found her in minutes!

* For more ways to prepare for what to expect when transitioning cultures, click here! *

I am always excited about meeting people from different cultures.  Recently, while eating dinner at the bar of my local Japanese restaurant, I met a man from Iran who has lived in American for many years with his family. I asked him what he felt is the biggest cultural difference he notices between New York, and where he lived in Iran.  He said it is “Adama” (if I spelled that correctly?) which has to do with noticing one another.

Specifically, he feels that in Iran, people notice one another, and, as I would interpret it, have respect – this could be about minding your self and your belongings around other people, it could be about noticing others and making sure they are well, etc.  He feels that in New York, this quality is absent.  I can certainly attest to the fact that, for example, in the subway, when crowded, you will frequently find yourself with a bag pushed into your back, someone carelessly letting their bag rest on your leg if you are sitting, and people sitting in spaces much too small for them, resulting in them sitting on other people.

What’s your take on this concept?  In your culture, do you feel that people notice one another?

I was recently looking at a news article about Weight Watchers employing Jennifer Hudson for their latest ad campaigns.  And we have Jennifer Craig who rotates celebrities now – Valerie Bertinelli, James Alexander, yadda yadda. (Hey, had to do a Seinfeld commemoration!)

This all got me thinking – are Americans more obsessed with weight loss than other cultures?  Or, is it perhaps the way we go about weight loss that’s different, but the obsession the same?  In America, I see the ”group/assisted” programs like Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, and LA Weight Loss, (by the way, I tried Jenny Craig, and the assistants are nothing like the celebrities belabor!  I guess if you’re a celebrity maybe you get extra help!)  and the mail order programs like Nutrisystem, and we have Boot Camp exercise programs, The Biggest Loser on TV, weight loss drugs, weight loss shakes, weight loss bars, and now…weight loss surgery!  Sure, beyond liposuction, you can now get a sort of rubber band placed around your stomach to lose weight!   We seem to want quick fixes, but we don’t seem to promote as much long-term solutions.  What I mean is, you pick your method – drugs, special foods, group/assisted method, etc. and once you’ve lost the weight, you’re on your own.

In France, I feel like I’ve seen a lot more articles – magazine and stories in the news – about how to eat better.  There is less focus on working out in the gym (something I found a lot less common in France, though that may be changing) and more focus on eating healthy foods, and proportions.  Even though the French may not go to the gym, in my experience, they do walk and bike ride a lot as a daily habit, compiled with eating smaller portions and more homemade meals.  Even in Paris, with all the sauces and foie gras, every time I spend an extended period of time there, I end up losing weight!

So, what’s your opinion – do you think weight loss is a global obsession, or something that Americans are more consumed with?  I’d love to know your thoughts.

I recently had the pleasure of being a volunteer Big Apple Greeter for two lovely new friends from France.  We spent much of the weekend together, saw lower Manhattan, the snow in Central Park, complete with skiers, snowmen, and sledders, a rare treat!

One of the great things I love about this volunteer opportunity is how it allows me to see New York with a fresh pair of eyes, getting to see someone else’s perceptions, what they find different, funny, weird, etc. and this visit helped me see some new cultural differences, some I knew, some were new.  As I think about it, these are also some of the “little” things that your mind takes in when you venture to a new place, and often have a huge impact on you initially.

1. France does not have “doggy bags”.  If you don’t finish your meal and ask to take the rest home, they will either laugh, or literally dump it into a bag! My guests made me take the takeout container out of its plastic bag so they could see it, and were amazed that we have containers prepared expressly for this purpose.  Imagine if you’re an American, and move to France, and ask for your food to go, and are met with this reaction, what would you do?
2. Subway entrances come in different shapes and sizes.  At some Manhattan stations, the only entrances available look like revolving doors.  My friends thought they were exits only, so left the station, but then saw other people going down and not returning, so figured out the doors were entrances, too.   What if you came to New York, needed to use the subway, and found you couldn’t get in because it seemed there were no turnstiles!  And, you’ve already bought your metro card!
3. Metro Cards are confusing.  If you don’t swipe them perfectly, you actually won’t be allowed into the subway.  And, if you don’t read English, you won’t be able to interpret the error message in front of you.  Did you know you could ask the subway agent for help?
4. There really is a Starbucks on almost every corner in Manhattan.  France only has one.   I prefer French coffee but my new French friends actually didn’t have disdain for the Starbucks coffee!

* For more ideas on adjustments to expect after relocating, *click here! *

If you’re an expat moving abroad, your company will hopefully provide you (and any possible trailing family members) with some cross-cultural training.  However, in my experience, some aspects of the transition aren’t covered in these programs.

Click here for part 1 of the tips I recommend to help you adjust to a new culture.