I found myself watching a kid’s TV show yesterday called “Ni Hao – Kai Lin”, and just as I was going to change the channel, I got sucked into the theme of the episode – fear of things that are different.  I decided to keep watching, and it was like seeing an Expat Coach in action for kids!

In the episode, all the characters attend a birthday party in the clouds. Everyone is having loads of fun, except Hoho, the monkey shown in the photo here.  He is very upset because, as he puts it, “Everything is so different.”  The food is different, the birthday hats are different (hippo hats), the see-saw is different (it goes in a circle instead of up and down.)

Isn’t this the epitome of a move to a new culture?  Everything is different, right down to the streets you may walk on when outside.  And, often times our first reaction to change and differences is to withdraw, and be fearful.  In the TV show, this is what Hoho did, and he ended up all by himself while everyone else had fun.  This reminded me of how we tend to self-isolate ourselves if we get stuck in the fear.

Luckily, one of Hoho’s friends encouraged him to just try something, even though it was different.  After hesitating for quite a while, Hoho finally gives in and tries a peach candy, saying that it’s so different from the banana crackers he is used to.  As he chews the peach candy, he realizes just how different it is, but is surprised to find that he likes it!  This makes him so excited that he asks for a hippo party hat, which he finds soft and comfortable.  This leads him to jump in and play games and he ends up interacting with, and surrounded by, all of his friends at the party.

I realize this is an oversimplified example, but I felt the major themes were still of value:

• When you go to a new place, expect things to be different
• Things that are different may seem scary when you have no experience with them
• If you get stuck in fear of differences, you may end up isolated and lonely and sad
• Jumping in and trying new things makes them less foreign, and more familiar
• You may find that you LIKE different things, or doing things you’re accustomed to in a different manner
• The more you jump in and embrace differences, the more likely you are to be surrounded by friends

* For more encouragement and ideas to successfully transition to a new culture, visit the the Culture Transition Success Store! *

I recently returned from a wonderful conference hosted by Families in Global Transition.  One of the big topics we discussed was repatriation.  It seems that there is very little support on this topic, though it’s a huge need.  I found the discussion fascinating, and thought I’d share some of the main points of interest-

1. The recent downturn of the global economy has forced many expats to return home earlier than expected.  This has created the sudden need for repatriation assistance.
2. Most people returning home do not think they need any repatriation coaching because they think it will be “a piece of cake.”  The truth is exactly the opposite – in many ways, the return home is more difficult, and more painful than the expatriation process.  Expat coaching can help you prepare for the challenges ahead and give you some great techniques to ease the settling back in process.
3. Most companies do not offer repatriation assistance, further complicating the process.
4. Many people don’t realize they need help until several months AFTER they return home, at which point they figure the problem is them, and they tend to isolate their feelings rather than ask for help.

Some helpful techniques we discussed to deal with the process were:

• Stay connected with your  friends even though you’re leaving soon.
• Reach out for help – get a coach or a therapist to talk through the issues.
• Find ways to engage in communities back home that are related to the country you just left

What are your thoughts?  Weigh in with the poll below and compare your answers -

One of the ways to integrate to a new culture, or to reconnect with one after you’ve repatriated, is to become part of a community in your local city.  I recently got to know some French friends who invited me to join them as they cheered on Marseille this afternoon, playing soccer against Lille.

It’s been a while since I enjoyed this activity and it was both full of comradery, and quite funny!  At an American football game, the men tend to cheer, or yell at their designated team – barking suggestions at the screen as if the player they are talking to can hear them, and will listen.  At the French soccer game, not only did the men cheer, but what I  miss most – they sung various cheers to route their team to victory!  One man would lead the song, and the rest of the audience would repeat each verse, sending energy, and uniting our group hoping that Marseille would win.  I thought it kind of funny that downstairs at the bar, there was an NFL football game in progress, and wondered if they could hear our group singing to their sports players.

Being a part of a community like this, no matter where you live, is invaluable.  I’ve found that the French community in New York, however, tends to interweave and it’s fascinating.  Once you’re in, you end up running into the same people even at events that seem to have no logical connection. 
After the soccer match was over, I met a few people, one of whom was Irish, and we spoke about an interesting phenomenon.  Now, I do think it’s great to join a community like this, especially if you’ve repatriated and long for a connection back to the world you’ve left.  Though, it’s also nice to have a community like this if you’re new to a city to make you feel welcome.  HOWEVER, here’s the unfortunate downside – sometimes, people join a community of people from their country, and they never leave it.  My new Irish friend described a community of Irish people that live in Queens, and essentially never leave it.  So, they’re living in New York, but not really, as they’ve created a small Ireland that they don’t venture out of to experience life in other boroughs, or other communities. In my opinion, if you’re going to relocate, it’s just as meaningful to explore a new culture, as it is to stay connected with your former one.  Though I understand how easy it is to fall into a great group of like-minded expats from the same place as you, and that this group can make you very happy and that it’s a great group of friends to have, it’s sort of a shame to move across the globe (or the same country) and miss out on what the local culture and community has to offer.  So, I urge you to experience the best of all worlds!

I do advocate that you should try and find communities to be part of – as an American in another country, you can just as easily connect with an Irish, French, or German community, for example, as with other American expats.  It’s important when adapting to a new place to keep a little of the old, but also to welcome in the new!  And, again, if you’re repatriating, keeping a connection to the culture you just left by joining, say, a local group of French, Japanese, etc. is a great way to transition back to your old culture!

* For more ideas on how to adjust to a new culture, make friends, and more, check out The Relocation Success System! *