Observing Cultural Differences
I am always excited about meeting people from different cultures. Recently, while eating dinner at the bar of my local Japanese restaurant, I met a man from Iran who has lived in American for many years with his family. I asked him what he felt is the biggest cultural difference he notices between New York, and where he lived in Iran. He said it is “Adama” (if I spelled that correctly?) which has to do with noticing one another.
Specifically, he feels that in Iran, people notice one another, and, as I would interpret it, have respect – this could be about minding your self and your belongings around other people, it could be about noticing others and making sure they are well, etc. He feels that in New York, this quality is absent. I can certainly attest to the fact that, for example, in the subway, when crowded, you will frequently find yourself with a bag pushed into your back, someone carelessly letting their bag rest on your leg if you are sitting, and people sitting in spaces much too small for them, resulting in them sitting on other people.
What’s your take on this concept? In your culture, do you feel that people notice one another?
I definitely feel that your Iranian acquaintance is onto something! I have a new expression for when people walk into me on the sidewalks of NYC: "I didn't know I was invisible?!" Unfortunately, by the time I say it, they are already out of earshot.
I keep wondering if there's another way to address this problem? I agree, it's a lack of "adama," or respect, for one another.
I find it particularly strange when I compare to London or Tokyo, the other two cities where I've lived. In England and Japan, there is a tradition of being polite and saying "sorry" or "sumimasen" [excuse me] if you bump into someone, or cut in front of them. What's wrong with that, I ask you?
Sometimes I think our pride in being "brash Americans" (particularly strong in NYC) appears to outweigh our pride in being human beings.
Thanks for your comments. If we are talking about New York, I commend you on an expression devoid of 4-letter words! Often times I can tell that the person who bumps into me or shoves their bag on my lap in the subway would not ever put up with someone doing the same to them.
You’re absolutely right about England and Japan. I have to wonder, since NYC is such a blending of cultures, many of whom are very proud of their heritage, does this create a sense of hostility or take pride to a new level when interacting others?
The other thing I notice in NYC, is that people tend to be more aware with people they know, and more “blind” when dealing with a total stranger.
I find the opposite is true in England and Japan, when it comes to strangers they are much more polite.