The experience of living in a new culture takes a lot of courage.  There are many changes to face, many things to adapt to, and much loneliness to bear.  However, a recent experience got me re-thinking about the concept of courage.

Pictured here is me offering coaching services to the wonderful men of Career Gear.  The challenges they face on a daily basis brought tears to my eyes, and was so inspirational.  These men are fighting to continue avoiding addiction, find a place to live that isn’t a shelter or with someone else living a down-sliding life, and find a job, among other things.  Every day, they go out into the world, look for housing, apply for jobs, interview for jobs, and almost every day, they talk to someone who judges them on their past, and may use that past as a reason not to hire them, or give them housing.  And yet, despite this rejection they face, every day, they still go back out there, every day, and try to find a place to live, and a way to pay for it.

Seems to me, that those of us looking for inspiration in whatever difficulties we may face, can look to these brave men – who have made a courageous choice to change their lives for the better, while simultaneously fighting the battle of overcoming judgment and prejudice that could easily lead them to give up.

How can you have a little bit of courage today?

I had so much fun getting this New Year’s Eve manicure, I decided to post it on my blog.

Wishing you a very Happy New Year to you and your families and friends – hope that 2011 brings all that you dream! 

Snow is falling like crazy here in Manhattan – it is really being transformed into a Winter Wonderland as I watch, and kids were running off to Central Park for sleigh-riding, so you know it’s a big storm!

Just wanted to take a moment to wish everyone a very happy holiday season, and best wishes for a very happy and joyous 2011.

Here is the silly photo I put together for my holiday cards this year – for any new blog followers, I adore cows!

I recently spent some time in Florida and had to laugh at how New York has set my expectations of a manicure/pedicure experience.

In Manhattan, you can find a nail salon almost more easily than a Starbucks. Almost any place you choose is fairly decent and it’s rare to find a salon nowadays without a staff that’s also trained in massage and waxing. One of the most enjoyable parts of the experience is the hand and foot massage complete with lotion and a hot towel to seal in the moisture and wipe off excess lotion.

So, it came as a bit of a surprise in Florida that nail salons are harder to find, and they are not as meticulous. Most shocking to me is that after massaging lotion into my hands and arms I am asked to get up, walk over to the sink, and wash the lotion off! And this is despite the fact that they use a warm towel to wipe off your legs after a pedicure.

Though I realize these examples are a bit trite, those of you relocating for the first time need to be aware of how the tiniest and silliest of differences can often cause the greatest culture shock.

In January, I had a magical and wonderful and educational experience with wild Mustang horses.  In fact, the experience was so powerful that I wrote two blog posts about it-

Part 1

Part 2

What I also learned is a sad truth – at their truest nature, they are meant to be in the wild, running free.  In Nevada the government takes over more and more land.  They round up the horses and then either sell them, or kill them, to take over their land.  Having experienced them first-hand, I find this a terrible tragedy.

I am posting this blog in the hopes that some of you will join me by signing up to demand that in the current round of legislation for more land, they refrain from killing more wild horses.  All you have to do is add your name and email at this website.

Thanks to all who participate!

Here’s an interesting story I heard recently, that I think highlights how cultural sensitivities and insensitivities can easily cultivate animosity on the workplace.

An American PC technician, let’s call him Joe, in a large company is one of the most knowledgeable in his team.  He is one of the few US-based employees, the rest are based in India.  Instant Messenger is an easy way for the techs in India to interface with Joe, and they do so fairly regularly.

In our discussion, I learned that the Indian technicians were NOT trained on American culture and customs.  However, the US team was trained on how to work effectively with their counterparts in India.  As a result, Joe learned that the biggest cultural taboo he could make was to ignore his teammates in India – apparently this is hugely offensive.

Key Learning #1: If you’re working in a cross-cultural team, it’s crucial that all employees, no matter what culture or geography, learn and understand the sensitivities and behaviors of the others.  Failure to do so breaks down communication, and that’s a recipe for failure in business.

One day, one of the technicians in India asked for Joe’s help, using Instant Messenger.   He quoted the customer name, and the problem.  Alas, Joe knew the customer, and informed the technician, via Instant Messenger of course, to beware because the specific client tended to always escalate issues that were insignificant, making a big deal out of something very small, and that he was a “pain in the butt”.  (I’m being polite for the sake of this post, but the actual words were more harsh.)  Nonethless, Joe gave some diagnostics, and helpful information, and then…

The technician in India updated the customer’s ticket.  He did so by COPYING and PASTING the text from the Instant Message conversation with Joe.  Thereby enabling the customer, who knew Joe, to see that he called him “a pain in the butt”  and all his other insults!

Guess what Joe did?  He started ignoring that technician in India.

Key Learning #2: When one culture is unaware of sensitivies of the other, it can create animosity between team-mates.  Again, this is a sure recipe for failure and a breakdown in communication.  Retaliation, of course, is not recommended – it’s better to explore and understand cultural behaviors and figure out a way to make them work for you, rather than against you, to avoid a scenario like this one.

For helpful tips adapting to a new workplace, click here!

Have an interesting Cultural Taboo story?  Share it here!

I’ve mentioned before that if you are, or plan to, move to a new country, you absolutely must make the effort to learn the local language.

For those of you in New York, there is a fantastic GROUPON (if you don’t subscribe to them, you should start! www.groupon.com) for 51% of a 5-week language program with Rennert!

* Click here to learn more about them, and ask for your Groupon Rate! *

Just a quick post to let you know that due to all the great feedback I got on my last video series, I’m starting a new one next week.  This will be a 10-week series with tips on the foundation steps to putting together a new business.  For any of you out there that may be an Accompanying Spouse looking for some meaningful work, or anyone with a great idea you want to put into action, this series will help you get started!  I even ask you to do little action steps each week – so get out your sheets of paper and pens and tune in starting Wednesday, August 18th, for the “Working Wednesday” series!

Sometimes, when you move to another culture, you will experience a loss of connection to the culture, and the people around you.  This can leave you feeling isolated and lonely, especially if you haven’t been able to make new friends.

One way you can help reconnect to others is by doing something special for someone you don’t know.  The other day, I went to Coney Island, outside Manhattan.  While there, I won several stuffed animals by winning a bunch of the games there.  On the subway ride back home, a small girl of about 3, and her parents, sat behind me.  I turned around and asked her parents if she might like to have some stuffed animals.  They graciously accepted, and I handed over 2 of them.  This little girl hugged and hugged them, it really touched my heart.  It was a bit like Christmas morning, she absolutely loved the animals, and it made me feel like I had given my prized puppy to a really good home.

A couple nearby noticed what I had done, and complimented me on my actions.  I was overwhelmed with sentiment, and almost cried.  Something so simple had brought about such touching emotion, and connection, with people I didn’t know.

So, I pass this along to you – if you’re feeling lonely and isolated wherever you have relocated, try doing a random act of kindness – actually look out for anyone you might help.  You could hold a door open for someone, help someone carry a heavy bag to their car, give something away….however you envision serving others.

* For more ideas on making new friends, click here! *

I am always excited about meeting people from different cultures.  Recently, while eating dinner at the bar of my local Japanese restaurant, I met a man from Iran who has lived in American for many years with his family. I asked him what he felt is the biggest cultural difference he notices between New York, and where he lived in Iran.  He said it is “Adama” (if I spelled that correctly?) which has to do with noticing one another.

Specifically, he feels that in Iran, people notice one another, and, as I would interpret it, have respect – this could be about minding your self and your belongings around other people, it could be about noticing others and making sure they are well, etc.  He feels that in New York, this quality is absent.  I can certainly attest to the fact that, for example, in the subway, when crowded, you will frequently find yourself with a bag pushed into your back, someone carelessly letting their bag rest on your leg if you are sitting, and people sitting in spaces much too small for them, resulting in them sitting on other people.

What’s your take on this concept?  In your culture, do you feel that people notice one another?