I’ve mentioned before that if you are, or plan to, move to a new country, you absolutely must make the effort to learn the local language.

For those of you in New York, there is a fantastic GROUPON (if you don’t subscribe to them, you should start! www.groupon.com) for 51% of a 5-week language program with Rennert!

* Click here to learn more about them, and ask for your Groupon Rate! *

Just a quick post to let you know that due to all the great feedback I got on my last video series, I’m starting a new one next week.  This will be a 10-week series with tips on the foundation steps to putting together a new business.  For any of you out there that may be an Accompanying Spouse looking for some meaningful work, or anyone with a great idea you want to put into action, this series will help you get started!  I even ask you to do little action steps each week – so get out your sheets of paper and pens and tune in starting Wednesday, August 18th, for the “Working Wednesday” series!

Sometimes, when you move to another culture, you will experience a loss of connection to the culture, and the people around you.  This can leave you feeling isolated and lonely, especially if you haven’t been able to make new friends.

One way you can help reconnect to others is by doing something special for someone you don’t know.  The other day, I went to Coney Island, outside Manhattan.  While there, I won several stuffed animals by winning a bunch of the games there.  On the subway ride back home, a small girl of about 3, and her parents, sat behind me.  I turned around and asked her parents if she might like to have some stuffed animals.  They graciously accepted, and I handed over 2 of them.  This little girl hugged and hugged them, it really touched my heart.  It was a bit like Christmas morning, she absolutely loved the animals, and it made me feel like I had given my prized puppy to a really good home.

A couple nearby noticed what I had done, and complimented me on my actions.  I was overwhelmed with sentiment, and almost cried.  Something so simple had brought about such touching emotion, and connection, with people I didn’t know.

So, I pass this along to you – if you’re feeling lonely and isolated wherever you have relocated, try doing a random act of kindness – actually look out for anyone you might help.  You could hold a door open for someone, help someone carry a heavy bag to their car, give something away….however you envision serving others.

* For more ideas on making new friends, click here! *

I am always excited about meeting people from different cultures.  Recently, while eating dinner at the bar of my local Japanese restaurant, I met a man from Iran who has lived in American for many years with his family. I asked him what he felt is the biggest cultural difference he notices between New York, and where he lived in Iran.  He said it is “Adama” (if I spelled that correctly?) which has to do with noticing one another.

Specifically, he feels that in Iran, people notice one another, and, as I would interpret it, have respect – this could be about minding your self and your belongings around other people, it could be about noticing others and making sure they are well, etc.  He feels that in New York, this quality is absent.  I can certainly attest to the fact that, for example, in the subway, when crowded, you will frequently find yourself with a bag pushed into your back, someone carelessly letting their bag rest on your leg if you are sitting, and people sitting in spaces much too small for them, resulting in them sitting on other people.

What’s your take on this concept?  In your culture, do you feel that people notice one another?

My younger brother just returned from a summer in France, similar to one of my experiences as a teenager. I was reminded of the importance of music as we transition cultures.

Music tends to either remind us of past experiences, or catapult us into new ones. It may help us cry when we need to, or feel renewed, excited, and like springing into action. Sometimes it’s great for inner calm. All-in-all, music can have a profound experience on our emotions. On my first trip to France, I recorded every song I heard (virtually!) off of “NRJ” – my favorite radio station in France! (And I still don’t care that friends call my taste “Euro-Trash”, I love it! ) When I listen to those songs today, I am transported back to the wonderful memories of that moment in my life.

The other thing I have noticed, when living and traveling abroad, is that music varies dramatically from country to country – at least some of it.  If you focus on things other than the American pop songs that play everywhere, you can start journeying into the culture you’re living in.  Finding local music you enjoy can help you create new memories in your new home.  You may find yourself looking forward to hearing a certain song you love – thus creating some excitement, which can be especially helpful on days you’re feeling a little down.

Music, of course, can also lead to dance – whether you watch others such as a local cultural event, or whether you go to a dance club or bar – again music can create some enjoyment and activity for you.

So, as you transition to a new culture, here are a few ideas, revolving around music, that might help you:

1. Before you move, make a special CD or mix for your MP3 player/cell phone (whatever gadget you might use!) that reminds you of fond moments you have from home.  You can play this music whenever you feel a bit homesick to help you remember that you haven’t lost your connection to home.  You can be with it in spirit and memory any time you need it.
2. After you move, find local radio stations with the rhythms/beats/sounds you most enjoy.  (I don’t want to use terms like “rock, classical, etc.” as these may not correlate to what you have access to).  If you find any music you particularly enjoy, consider getting a CD of that artist, and going to a concert, should they play in your area – use your favorite music to get you out in the world.
3. If you hear a song several times you love, and cannot figure out the artist, then hopefully you’ll hear it one day in a local bar, cafe, etc – ask the waiter/waitress if they know the name.  This is a nice way to start a conversation, as well as helping you to connect with the local music.
4. As you find more and more music you love, make sure to collect some of the songs.  Should you eventually repatriate, you’ll have a wonderful collection of songs to connect you with the place you left

* For more ideas on successfully transitioning to a new culture, click here! *

It’s Culture Transition Tip Tuesday again!

Here is Tip #10

As “Inception” is no doubt a film that people are watching all over the world, I’m curious, for those who saw it – what do you think happened at the end?

It seems to me that there are two possibilities – Leonardo’s character woke up from the job on the airplane, or he is still in limbo.

The only argument I can think of to support him being awake is that the powerful cocktail of drugs did not impact the inner eardrum, (so it was said in the film) so the “kick” awake could have happened on descent of the plane. (However, since airplanes tilt frequently in flight, I am perplexed why nobody woke up before landing.)

I believe Leonardo’s character is still in limbo at the end. Here’s why:

1. Did you notice that in the final scene of confrontation with the old Japanese man, Leo’s character is eating something? It’s the only dream scene where food is ingested – what does that mean?
2. Upon waking, he doesn’t speak to anyone.
3. The people on his team to do not speak to him in the airport. They only acknowledge him – sort of like figures in other subconscious minds we step into during the film – only the ones that have more of a leading role for that person DO speak. Odd that Ellen dePage’s character, “the architect”, who has been so talkative and pushy to get Leo to confront his subconscious demon, doesn’t even say a word of congratulations.
4. He clears customs, greets his father who takes his bags, and then we are in Leo’s home. Remember at the beginning, he told Ellen’s character that the way you know you’re in a dream is that you have no idea how you got where you are. So, how did we get to Leo’s home?
5. And wait – what’s his father doing at the airport?  Leo was in Paris with the gang, and last minute, they go fly to Los Angeles on this mission, first going, I believe, to England, and have a 10 hour flight.  Did dad go with everyone – and if so, must have been economy?  And, why would he go with them at all? And, this is the critical piece – if his father were on the plane, which is the only plausible way he could have gotten from Paris to LA at the same time, he would have met Leo in baggage claim and cleared customs together, not found him outside customs!?
6. When Leo and his dad get home, where supposedly “grandma” is watching the kids, there is no other adult there – just the two kids playing outside – do you buy that they were home alone?
7. He seems to feel safe at home, but in real life, at the start of the movie, Leo’s character was running away because he failed his mission and knew his company would look for him – so how could he feel safe anywhere?
8. “Grandma” (Leo’s mother I presume?) was very angry with Leo on the phone at the start of the movie. She even told the kids he was never coming home. This would indicate he was away from home for more than a few days or weeks. So, how come the kids, when he returns home, are not only the same age, but also wearing the same clothes, doing the same activity, as in all of his memories?
9. Remember, when Leo and Ellen’s characters are in Leo’s mind at one point in the film, he takes us to this exact spot, with the kids playing outside, and he says something like, “I keep returning to this place over and over, but no matter how much I try, I cannot change this one moment. I want to see the kid’s faces, but I get scared…” and this time they turn towards him, indicating, to me, that he is now living out his subconscious dream, as he did with his wife before that.

** What’s your opinion? Cast your vote here Update – GREAT answers to those of you who used the “OTHER” option!  I never even thought of those ideas.  Food for thought – one respondent said the whole movie was to bring Leo back from the Limbo he was in at the start, and another voter said the whole movie is a dream, EXCEPT the ending!  

It’s Culture Trasition Tip Tuesday once again!

Here is Tip #9

I just love this story – will Spain win today?  Let’s find out!

Click here for more on Paul, the psychic Octopus…sad that he may not be around for the next World Cup due to his age.

One of the things that always amazes me about New York is the paradox of the beliefs I have when I hear “if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere” and reality.  Somehow, New York, on paper, is supposed to be this amazing cosmopolitan and atmosphere of “anything is possible”.  However, in my experience, there are some definite areas where exactly the opposite is true.

Restaurants are a prime example.  I often like to substitute a side-dish, or request something I don’t see on the menu.  Only in American restaurants do I hear phrases like,

“No, I’m sorry, we can’t.”

“It’s pre-made, we can’t change it.”

“I’ll have to ask the chef.”

“I’ll have to charge you extra.”

“I’ll have to ring it up as two separate orders so it will come out more expensive, it’s the only way I can do it.”

Somehow, American restaurants have a very difficult time thinking outside the box and catering to creative whims.

However, if I eat in almost ANY ethnic restaurant, I feel like the world is my oyster.  Indian restaurants can always make me a wonderful plate of Chicken Saag, even if it’s not on the menu.  My local Japanese place has a “hidden” menu of possibilities, and I can mix and match as I choose.  Italian restaurants will change the pasta or the sauce to my tastes.  And, none of them tries to tell me it will be difficult.  They simply nod their head and do it.

Corporations are another example.  Grossly generalizing on my own personal experiences, I’ve noticed an irony here as well.  European headquartered companies seem to value creative thoughts, outside-the-box ideas, and are open to changing processes to cater to a good idea or customer need, no matter what level it comes from.  American companies, on the other hand, give the impression they would like outside-the-box thinking, but they really only want it to come from leadership, while they cultivate what Seth Godin has called “Sheepwalkers” – lower level employees that behave, do as they’re told, and do not question things.  There is a big game of “corporate politics” to be played, especially in American companies I have noticed – and your choice to play, or not play, is a huge piece of your success or failure in that organization.

Within any culture, it’s easy to find all sorts of contradictions, but I am often shocked and amazed at how much we confine ourselves into “boxes” and “rules”, while preaching that we’re “free to do as we please”.

For more information on New York Culture and how to survive your life in The Big Apple, click here!