When you move to a new country, one of the biggest things that can impact your experience is an understanding of not only the language, but how hand gestures are used.

This may sound trivial, but take the sign for “peace” in America, which is 2 fingers raised, and try it in the UK facing the wrong way, you’ve completely insulted someone.  Taking it to extremes, you could find yourself jailed, or fined for something as “trivial” as raising the wrong finger.

For an example, check out this article about a British man in Dubai who has had his passport revoked for raising his middle finger, and may face jail time because it is considered a violation of public decency laws!  The same article mentions a British couple who are facing jail time for kissing in public.

Simply put, if you’re moving to another country, you must make the effort to learn about local hand gestures.  * To learn some important basics about hand gestures, and how to be successful at making new friends after moving to a new country (and not insulting them!) check out The Socialnaire Club *

I was recently interviewed on World Coach TV where I explained the mission of Culture Transition Coaching, and gave some helpful tips on relocating.

Enjoy the video by clicking here!

Yesterday was a big day for many Americans – the day of The Super Bowl.  If you’re an American in another country, you may, or may not, have been able to catch it live.  If you’re a foreigner living in the US, then you may have been introduced to the football pool, super bowl Sunday paper and plastic decorations,  and high carb snacks at a friend’s house as you watched grown men pile on top of one another.

For people like me, the major excitement is the commercials.  Sadly, I guess the economic climate did not allow the same results as prior years, but you can check out some of the top rated ads here – http://msn.foxsports.com/video?vid=4b475992-6fde-4364-8d20-10a76d7ad916&from=IV2_en-us_foxsports_articles

One of the ways to integrate to a new culture, or to reconnect with one after you’ve repatriated, is to become part of a community in your local city.  I recently got to know some French friends who invited me to join them as they cheered on Marseille this afternoon, playing soccer against Lille.

It’s been a while since I enjoyed this activity and it was both full of comradery, and quite funny!  At an American football game, the men tend to cheer, or yell at their designated team – barking suggestions at the screen as if the player they are talking to can hear them, and will listen.  At the French soccer game, not only did the men cheer, but what I  miss most – they sung various cheers to route their team to victory!  One man would lead the song, and the rest of the audience would repeat each verse, sending energy, and uniting our group hoping that Marseille would win.  I thought it kind of funny that downstairs at the bar, there was an NFL football game in progress, and wondered if they could hear our group singing to their sports players.

Being a part of a community like this, no matter where you live, is invaluable.  I’ve found that the French community in New York, however, tends to interweave and it’s fascinating.  Once you’re in, you end up running into the same people even at events that seem to have no logical connection. 
After the soccer match was over, I met a few people, one of whom was Irish, and we spoke about an interesting phenomenon.  Now, I do think it’s great to join a community like this, especially if you’ve repatriated and long for a connection back to the world you’ve left.  Though, it’s also nice to have a community like this if you’re new to a city to make you feel welcome.  HOWEVER, here’s the unfortunate downside – sometimes, people join a community of people from their country, and they never leave it.  My new Irish friend described a community of Irish people that live in Queens, and essentially never leave it.  So, they’re living in New York, but not really, as they’ve created a small Ireland that they don’t venture out of to experience life in other boroughs, or other communities. In my opinion, if you’re going to relocate, it’s just as meaningful to explore a new culture, as it is to stay connected with your former one.  Though I understand how easy it is to fall into a great group of like-minded expats from the same place as you, and that this group can make you very happy and that it’s a great group of friends to have, it’s sort of a shame to move across the globe (or the same country) and miss out on what the local culture and community has to offer.  So, I urge you to experience the best of all worlds!

I do advocate that you should try and find communities to be part of – as an American in another country, you can just as easily connect with an Irish, French, or German community, for example, as with other American expats.  It’s important when adapting to a new place to keep a little of the old, but also to welcome in the new!  And, again, if you’re repatriating, keeping a connection to the culture you just left by joining, say, a local group of French, Japanese, etc. is a great way to transition back to your old culture!

* For more ideas on how to adjust to a new culture, make friends, and more, check out The Relocation Success System! *

The holidays seem to fill the air with uplifted spirits (ok unless you’re trying to do last-minute gift shopping) and tons of people. 

In many places in the world you’ll find traditional holiday decorations and markets filled with happy passerby.

The other thing I’m noticing is how friendly many people seem to be. Last night I grabbed a glass of bubbly with a friend near Rockefeller Center and we chatted with our waiter, Jake, as we tried to figure out a place to eat. He recommended someplace which I have been before and liked and told us his roommate work there and to mention his name for a good table!

So it’s always worth being friendly and open to conversations with new people.

1. You never know how you can help each other out and who else you may meet through someone. 
2. I find that waiters/waitresses, if they are friendly, are easy to have small-talk with, and great resources if you’re looking for something to do in the neighborhood. 
3. If you hit it off, then, as happened to me, they might be able to “hook you up” with good seats, or good service through friends of theirs.

** want more ideas to meet new people and make friends? Check out The Social Success Method **

As you know, my mission is to help people relocating to adjust to and overcome the social, personal, and professional issues that arise after moving to a new city.  One of the biggest difficulties with moving is creating a new social network.  I’m always on the lookout for excellent resources and ideas, and recently found a great organization in Paris called Paris4U.net  I interviewed one of the founders to help you get more information about what it is, and the benefits of joining. 

Q. What is the mission of Paris4U.net?

A. The mission of Paris4U.net is to connect people from different types of backgrounds and cultures living and working in Paris.  We’re here to provide a forum for expatriates living in and around Paris to connect with each other and enhance their experience living abroad. 

Q. What inspired you to start your business, and how long have you been working on it?

A. I myself lived in several countries on various continents. I know for a fact how difficult it is integrate and build a social, personal, professional, and family life, when you arrive in a new country, especially one where the national language is not your mothertongue. It takes time to find out what there is to discover, what to do, whom to meet, where to go, how to find your marks, how to organize your leisures, etc… I hope the site will be a platform allowing all nationalities and cultures to gather, discuss, talk, meet, enjoy Paris together. The site itself is brand-new, it just recently started.

Q. What are some of the benefits of signing up to become a member at Paris4U.net?

A. Paris4u provides a venue for those living in and around Paris to communicate and interact with one another in English.  This includes the ability to put up classifieds, create events, and even the ability to communicate with each other via the forums.

Q. What expansion plans do you have – I think you may be offering your services in different cities soon?

Ultimately, we plan on creating a template using Paris4u as an example to expand to other cities globally.  Our next goal will be NYC.

Q.  Is there anything else people should know about you and Paris4U.net?

A. Paris4u is will be constantly evolving over the next few weeks and we want to provide our members with a more personal experience.  This means we are always looking for more input, suggestions, ideas on what the members would want/need or like to see.  We also plan on taking advantage of various social networks such as facebook and youtube to tap into a wider audience.

** Do you know of or have an excellent resource for networking where you live?  Post a comment here and tell me about it! **

** Want to relocate with ease, and avoid or overcome the social, personal, and professional challenges that you’ll confront? Check out The Relocation Success System!

With the holidays fast approacing, if you’re an expat and can’t afford to go home, you’re no doubt in search of ways to celebrate locally, or closer to where you live.

According to AsiaOne News, there will be a lot of expats in Beijing this year! Sometimes, if you can’t be with your loved ones at home, it’s a good idea to seek out local places offering, say, food you’re accustomed to on the holidays, or, you might even find other expats from your home country celebrating the holidays in the same place as you. Why not share the festivities together?

Click here to read more about plans in Beijing to welcome foreigners. Even if you’re not in or near Beijing, it might be a good idea to inquire, locally, about what events and dinners are being planned that you can participate in – ideal to avoid being alone!

I’ve mentioned before that I love cows, though another truth is, I love animals.  If you’re looking for a fun activity after relocating, a local zoo or animal farm is another great way to spend part of a day (presuming, of course, tht you like animals.)

However, in addition to passing the time, animals can also teach you some valuable lessons.  This past weekend, I had the pleasure of visiting several animals, and the experience reminded me a bit of transitioning to another culture! (Bear with me….oops, pun intended…)

I started the day with a visit to an Alpaca farm in Upstate New York.  Sadly, for me, Alpacas are not the friendliest of animals

and didn’t seem interested in being pet.  However, as I stood among them, I realized that I was in their “world”;  I had entered their space.  This fact really hit me when I whipped out my iPhone to take the pictures you see here, and when I turned to my left, I found myself staring at a very long, black neck and a huge pair of dark eyes.  (Sadly, I was too shocked and frozen to take a photo!)  With me being, umm, vertically-challenged, the Alpaca towered over me and I wasn’t sure whether it would eat me or spit on me, but it seemed very interested in my iPhone.  Soon thereafter, another Alpaca (who apparently has arthritis, so I felt like we had an instant bond as I do, too!) approached me, and I just remained as calm as possible, while also terrified, and stifling a laugh because so many feelings ran through me at once.

I had no idea what to do.  I was a bit terrified, and figured any sudden moves would be a bad idea, and yet I also wanted to try and pet them, but figured that would be equally poor on the idea list, in case they got upset with me.  So, I let them sniff me, and then they moved on.

It’s funny, but when you move to a new place, some of your initial experiences can feel like this.  It’s a bit terrifying to be surrounded by unfamiliar people, unfamiliar buildings, and unfamiliar experiences.  You may get stuck as you try and figure out what to do to adapt to your new surroundings.  And, sometimes it’s best to give people around you the chance to welcome you, and show you proper etiquette than to just “barge in”, and try to “force” your ways on them by, shall we say, proverbally petting them.

After the Alpaca farm, I visited my cousin’s horse farm.  It was like changing countries in fifteen minutes.  The horses, after a brief “check me out and make sure I’m not a threat” period were exceptionally affectionate.  They loved having their cheeks massaged, and they also seemed hopeful that my hands might also be edible, and there was a lot of sniffing.

But, again, I had that same experience where I felt a bit like a stranger in a strange land.  Now, the friendliness of the horses made me feel very welcome, and at ease.  I know that whenever I’ve lived or traveled abroad, the people that were the most

welcoming, friendly, and interested in me, are the ones with whom I wanted to spend the most time, and with whom I had a sense of feeling at home. 

Finally, I got to play with my cousin’s dog who was a very loving new friend. For me, friendly dogs just make all of life’s little troubles melt away.  So, if you’re feeling down, and not too allergic, you might seriously want to consider spending some time with a friendly dog or cat.  I’m not sure why, but they seem to have the power to make whatever is bugging you seem insignificant.

Here are the takeaways from all my experiences this past weekend:

1. Visiting animals is a great activity, if you’re in need of ideas.
2. If you do go to a park, zoo, or elsewhere, notice how it feels to be in “their world” – try to pay attention to how you act, and react to them. 
3. You’ll learn your natural tendencies to unfamiliar situations, and perhaps figure out a couple of things you can change to attract more people to you. 
4. Try petting a dog or a cat if you are having a “down day”.  If you don’t own one, see if there might be a local shelter where you can volunteer your time to pet animals, or, perhaps you have a friend with a pet who will let you come over.
5. If you got a chuckle out of this post, you might also enjoy my earlier post about What Cows Can Teach Us About Relocating

* Want more ideas on adjusting to a new place, learning a new language, and fitting in? Check out The Personal Success Method! *

With Thanksgiving, and the holiday season upon us, I know many expats will be far from home.  This is a time when it’s all too easy to get caught up in missing your friends and family back home, and wishing you were with them, leading to possible bouts of depression.    Especially if you are in a country that doesn’t celebrate a traditional holiday, such as Thanksgiving.  It can be even harder to find life continues as normal on a day you’re used to sharing with your family. And, don’t forget the weather! If home is a place where winter is snowy and cold, and you’re someplace in the Southern Hemisphere, then it’s going to feel really strange to find people swimming and walking around in t-shirts, which can make home feel even further away.

However, you also have the choice to see this as a time of discovery, welcoming in new traditions.  I have spent Thanksgiving in Paris twice, once with a fellow expat who cooked us a lovely dinner, and another time with friends, dining at a restaurant that had a special Thanksgiving menu.  Actually, the restaurant experience was one of those prix-fixe menus with a leg of Turkey that resembled duck confit, and a very French-ified version of mashed potatoes, etc.  It was like gourmet gone wrong. (Really, is there a way to make roasted/fried turkey gourmet?)  The wine, of course, was great, and so my friends and I enjoyed each other’s company, and had a good laugh at the meal.  Of course, it was wonderful, for us, to be with each other, and we were grateful that a country that doesn’t even celebrate this holiday, gave us a way to honor it by combining our tradition with theirs.

I’ve also spent Christmas in Normandie, where we ate Oysters instead of the meat, or turkey and potatoes I’m accustomed to at this time of year.  Though I wasn’t with my family, I bonded with others over wine and oysters till the wee hours, sharing discussion, laughter and fun. 

What I find is most important is making sure to celebrate the occasions, and to honor them with good friends.   Here are a few ideas for you to consider during the holiday season:

1. If you can’t go home, see if home can come to you!  Invite your friends and family to visit you.
2. Reach out to neighbors, colleagues, and new friends, and ask the ones you’re closest to if you can spend any of the holiday season together. 
3. If you feel you don’t know anyone well enough yet, then look for other expats in your area. If, for example, you’re an American living in Peru, see what other expats are there using something like Facebook or Google, doing a search for expats near where you live.  Expat Forum is a great resource for this as well.
4.  If you can’t find anyone to spend the holiday with, see if any restaurants or community organizations might be holding a holiday dinner.  This way, you can at least be surrounded by people, rather than alone.
5. Now is a great time to make new friends!  Take full advantage of every method possible to meet new people. 
6. Host a dinner at your place for the holidays and invite your new and old friends over to enjoy the time together.

If you’re trying to meet new people, and make new friends, one of the best ways to do it is by joining a local organization.  Ideally, it should be getting people together around a purpose or topic of interest to you.  Let me give you an example of how this just worked for me.

I am a member of the International Coach Federation – it brings together other people interested in the field of coaching, or who are coaches like myself.  At a recent meeting, we had to pair up with several different people in the room, and one of my partners during the meeting was a woman named Joann.  I had never met her before, but the in-class work was something both fun, and difficult, so allowed me to share laughter with several people.

Friday afternoon, I went to a local coffee shop for the afternoon.  When I got to the cash register, I saw Joann!  We re-introduced ourselves, had a great discussion, and decided to get together to help one another progress our current life and business goals. 

So, to re-cap, here’s what to focus on to make new friends by joining an organization:

1. Join an organization for something that really interests you.  That could be a charity, a profession, anything, as long as you are genuinely interested in what it’s about.
2. Attend local meetings of that organization as frequently as possible.
3. Introduce yourself to other people at the meetings.  If they don’t provide mixers, or audience interaction, then just walk up to people and get to know them.
4. Bring business cards with you, at all times, even if they just have your name, email and phone number – make sure you have something to leave people so they can get in touch with you
5. If you see anyone from that organization while you’re out in a restaurant, coffee shop, etc., go say hello to them, and re-introduce yourself.
6. If you feel a connection, seize the day – don’t wait till later, or suggest you call or email, take out your calendar and make plans on the spot!

From there, if  a genuine connection develops, get together, explore new places, and you’ll have a buddy to share experiences with and talk about good times and bad.