I’ve mentioned before that volunteering is one of the absolute best ways to meet new people, and feel less isolated.

Today, in my capacity as a Big Apple Greeter, I took a lovely French couple around New York to show them parts of the city they wouldn’t get to see on their own.  They ended up teaching me a lot, too!  It’s always fascinating to me how a foreign pair of eyes on a place you know so well you take it for granted, helps you find novelty.  They marveled at a barber shop in Chinatown which still looked like something out of a Hollywood film from the 1940s, and were amazed at a parking lot that had cars parked above others via a raised platform, requiring the bottom car to be moved out of the way, to get to the car on top.

We also got to speak about cultural differences – this is another wonderful experience – getting a slice of life that you might otherwise not get.  My choice of volunteer jobs allows me to meet people from many different cultures, and nationalities, and to speak many different languages.  Each time I volunteer, I am overjoyed by the types of people I get to meet, and the in-depth conversations and shared learning that ensues.

The other wonderful part about forming these relationships is that you never know who you’ll meet.  It turned out that the couple I took around New York is from a city in France that my cousin is visiting next week.  They very kindly offered to help her around while she’s there! 

So, once again, I’m demonstrating here how the act of volunteering can have so many different rewarding experiences – if you’re hoping to meet new people, make sure to find something to volunteer for!

In previous posts, I’ve mentioned that I became a Big Apple Greeter, which has been a fun and rewarding experience, allowing me to meet people from all over the world, and share “my New York” with them.

I’ve noticed, since starting this volunteer experience, that I am attracting lost people to me.  In the middle of the street, more and more people are walking up to me to ask if I know how to get someplace, which subway is closest, and, tonight, “Do you know if there’s a balloon store or florist nearby?”

In addition, if I see anyone on the street holding up a map and looking confused, I walk over to them and ask if I can help them find something.

In my last post, I mentioned the book “Peaks and Valleys“.  Another point made by the author is that you should be of service in your community.  Doing this will tend to uplift your spirits.  With your spirits uplifted, you will find that you attract more people to you, thus increasing the chances that you will make new friends.  At the very least, you will increase your interactions with other people, and this will cut through the loneliness and isolation you might be feeling.

Being of service can be done in many ways.  The two easiest ways are volunteering your time for a specific cause or organization, or if you feel you don’t have time or interest to volunteer, then just help.  Simply look for people that need help – perhaps someone on the metro or subway or tube that would love your seat, maybe someone in the supermarket needs help reaching an item on the top shelf, or someone at work could use an idea for a project.

I’m sure, if you look for opportunities to help people, you will find them.  This is the quickest, and easiest, way to be of service, and it guarantees you the chance to meet someone new.

Start helping people today!

I’ve mentioned before that I am a Big Apple Greeter. It’s one of the most wonderful volunteer experiences I’ve ever done, and I highly recommend it! As I mentioned in the prior post, there is actually a worldwide network of Greeters, so it may be available to you outside the US.

This past weekend, I accompanied 4 wonderful Australians, from the Gold Coast, around Manhattan, to experience what I feel is the magic of New York – how you can float through the city and experience the change in neighborhoods, and just how many different ones there are. Having been here a while, I find it inspiring when I discover something unexpected to add to the dimension of the city. As we strolled around neighborhoods I know very well, we found tiny little street fairs – some of them had hand-made crafts, others more commercial goods. It added to the day. And, my new friends, knowing how much I like cows, actually tried very hard to find me a cover for my iPhone with cows on it! Though we couldn’t find one, they did manage to come across a black and white case, and suggested I paint a cow on it – great ingenuity!

The other highlight of the day is that one of the Australians looks just like Z.Z. Top! So, I spent the day with a celebrity….sort of. When I dropped them off at our destination – a water taxi around the city – one of the boat attendants asked if it was Z.Z. Top and I said, “Yes, it is! But his voice is a bit horse, so he won’t be singing today. But, take good care of him!”

We all hugged goodbye – bonded by a day of fun experiences – and I felt like I was saying goodbye to some excellent new friends that I would be overjoyed to see again.

On my journey home, I then “happened” upon a concert in the middle of a small park.  It was apparently the last free one of the year in that location, and I felt so lucky to have been in the right place at the right time.

Can’t wait for the next volunteer opportunity!

Today is my grandfather’s birthday.  Were he still alive, he would have turned 100 today.  Though he passed 7 years ago, I still think about him often.  The way his blue eyes always illuminated whenever I came for a visit, and the way he was always proud of even the smallest things I did.  In fact, I realized that he is my inspiration for meeting new people and making new friends.

My grandpa, no matter where we were, had this amazing ability to appeal to everyone around him.  He would always smile, and want to get to know you, and make you feel like an important person.  In fact, when I would visit him in the hospital, he had made friends with the entire staff of doctors and nurses.  I was always in awe!

What he tought me is that a warm smile, a sincere question, and laughter, are simple, and important, steps whenever you want to meet someone new.

Because it is my grandfather’s inspiration that helped me create them, in honor of my his 100th birthday, I’m offering you 50% off either my “Learn to Feel at Home Anywhere in the World” program (gives you an introduction to the core steps of relocating and making friends, satisfying your personal/emotional needs, and adjusting to professional changes) or my “Social Success Strategies” eBook (which is a deep-dive into how and where to make new friends and create a new social network after relocating.)

Just use code GRAMPS100 at checkout.  Offer good through Sunday, October 11th, 2009.

Happy birthday grandpa, and may his inspiration equally help and inspire you to make more friends.

The first eBook in the Learn to Feel at Home Anywhere in the World series is out!

“Social Success Strategies” is all about helping you build up contacts before you move, and then with tips, techniques, and strategies to meet new friends and create a new social network from scratch.  If you’re naturally shy, there are some tips for you, and if you’re feeling like you’ve “already tried everything and nothing works!” pay attention to the beginning of the eBook which gives you possible reasons that nothing is working, and the associated Action Guide will help you dive into the suggested exercises to move past obstacles, and pave the way for your social success!

Click here to read all about it and to get your copy.

Sometimes, after you relocate, you will have some setbacks.  Perhaps a bad day, or something more serious.  One of the reasons making friends nearby is so important is because, on days like this, you’ll appreciate a compassionate ear.

Here’s a small, humorous, example to illustrate my point.

I was recently in an elevator with a 5-year-old boy and his babysitter.  She held the door open for me, and I entered to find this boy very irritated because he had wanted the door to close, and he had been made to wait for me.  I asked if he could push my floor, number 10, and he said, “I don’t like the 10th floor.”  He then crossed his arms and gave such a frown it made me laugh.

“Why don’t you like the 10th floor?” I inquired.

“Because. I just don’t,” he replied.

Then I matched his voice and tone, and said, “You seem very grumpy.  Why are you so grumpy?”

This made him laugh.  It was as if the mere fact that I had noticed he was grumpy pulled him out of his grumpiness.  Next, I noticed that he was wearing sneakers that lit up whenever he tapped the floor.

“Oh, those are cool sneakers!” I said.  “Can I have them?”

“No, they only fit me!” he answered.

“That’s ok, maybe I could wear them on my ears, and every time I nod my head, they’d light up! Or, would I have to bang my ears on the wall?”

With that, he was laughing, and the grumpiness completely forgotten.

Here’s what the experience made me realize:

1. When things don’t go your way, you might get grumpy and unhappy.
2. If someone takes the time to notice what you’re feeling, in the moment, that can help you express these bad feelings, and get them out
3. Once you’ve expressed yourself, having someone that can make you laugh, will allow you to spend the rest of the day much happier

It may all seem obvious, but these are the things you get from a friend.  Having someone nearby who can listen, and cheer you up, face-to-face is an essential piece of your social success after relocating.

One of the best parts about living in many places and fully jumping in to cultural traditions, is that it bonds you forever with the people of that culture.

Here’s an example.  I went to Japan a few years ago.  I visited Tokyo, Kyoto, and Nara.  It was an unbelievable experience, and I was exposed to foods, people, and situations I had never dreamed of, all because of my wonderful hosts, and my willingness to try everything. When we went to Nara, we visited the wooden Buddha at the temple, Todai-ji. In the back of this temple, there is a pillar with a small hole at the base.  My hosts told me that if I could crawl through it, I’d be guaranteed a spot in Heaven.  (It was so small, I worried I might get to Heaven quicker than planned!) Shown here is the proof that I made it through!  It was a definite memorable moment of that trip.

The other night, I sat at the bar of my neighborhood Japanese restaurant for the first time.  (Usually I eat at a table.) I had the pleasure of striking up a fun conversation with the Japanese bartender, about life and culture in Japan along with a few other animated diners.  When I mentioned going to the temple in Nara, and began describing how I crawled through this pillar, the bartender instantly knew what I was referring to, and gave me a high-five!  We then proceeded to speak of many special cultural experiences one can have in Japan. 

The discussion made me realize that those of us that live and travel in different places, are granted a very special gift of a bond with others from those places.  You can’t quite describe it, but it is special, nonetheless. 

For those of you who may be facing repatriation challenges, this is also something to remember.  Seeking out restaurants or people from the place you used to live is an excellent way to discuss the traditions you miss, and share your experiences with someone who understands, and has participated in the same experiences. This does wonders both when you need a listening ear, and when you’re trying to meet new people.

Cultural celebrations are a great opportunity to meet new friends. This weekend, I watched the Steuben Day parade in New York which, in itself, was fun and full of fascinating costumes, and I scored a few packs of gummy bears, too! (The parade honors Baron Friedrich von Steuben, who arrived in the United States as a volunteer offering his services to General George Washington. Click here for more information on the history of this celebration.)

While standing on the sidelines, I managed to befriend a lovely German couple, who had come in for the  parade, and seemed to know many of the people who were marching. They provided great information about the parade, and told some very funny jokes! For instance – a city in Germany that has a house high above the city on a hill, that is reputed to be full of kooks and ghosts. A young couple decides to journey up the mountain to see for themselves. They arrive at the house, ring the bell, and an elderly man answers. He invites them in for tea. They accept.

“We were told this house is haunted, and full of kooks!” said the young couple. “What a pleasant surprise.”

“Oh, really?” said the old man. “I’ve lived here for 360 years, and I haven’t seen any kooks.”

Besides the amusing entertainment, everyone flocked to the city’s German bars to enjoy beer, and traditional German fare. I was able to meet a lovely couple over a pint of beer as well.

 Here’s why cultural celebrations are a great place to meet new friends -

1. Everyone is in a festive mood, and open to conversation.
2. It’s easy to start off a conversation by merely being curious about the origins of the celebration
3. There will be a lot of people clustered together in bars and restaurants, so it will be easy to join the party!

So, if you’re looking to meet new people, consider researching when the next local parade or festival is, and jump on the opportunity to

be a part of it.

I feel like I hit the social jackpot! I’ve been challenging myself to follow my own advice and try to meet and get business cards from 4 new friends in 4 weeks, and I did it! And, I got introduced to another event through a new friend, always exciting and inspiring when you’re in a rut. Shown throughout this posting are photos from the art gallery where I was able to see beautiful artwork, and do some excellent people-watching.

1. Several weeks ago, I mentioned that I joined an online community, and attended one of their social events in New York. Prior to the event, I connected with my new friend Chris on the online forum, and we met up at this event.
2. Chris then invited me out with some of his other friends where I began getting to know more wonderful people. (One of them owns an art gallery, and may let me show an exhibit of all my various cow photos!)
3. Tonight, I joined Chris and some friends I had met before, and others who were new to me, at an art gallery. I learned that one of the women I had met a few weeks ago has the exact same birthday as me! It was an instant connection, and we also learned we had a lot in common, so we exchanged cards and plan to get together soon.
4. I met another woman who has had similar life experiences to me, so we also exchanged cards.
5. Upon my return home, I happened to run into one of my new neighbors who seems really sweet. We’ve run into each other a few times and had brief conversations, so this time I said we should get together, and we’re aiming for this weekend!

A reminder of my tips to help you with your social success:

• Join social organizations and attend their events
• Connect with just one person before or at the event
• If you have a good time with them, exchange contact information so you can get together again
• Be open to invitations you may receive from that person, and make your own to them
• When you do accept an invitation, make the effort to mingle with everyone, not just your host
• Again, exchange information with everyone you meet and connect with
• Make more plans!

I feel so inspired by the wonderful new friends I’ve made in the past few weeks, and that I’m meeting people I have a lot in common with. I made it happen through the courage to socialize on my own, openness to meeting new people, exchanging contact information, follow-up, and accepting invitations.

I wish you the same success!

Those that know me well, know that I am very fond of cows, following my experience living on a farm in Normandy, France. While out for a walk today, I happened across a couple of cows who made me think of some helpful tips for relocating. At the very least, this little article will hopefully make you laugh!

Cows are naturally curious. Curiousity is at the core of meeting new friends, discovering new activities, and learning about new cultures. Make sure to follow your own sense of curiousity.

Flies are always pestering cows, but they learn to put up with them. Wherever it is that you move, something will definitely bug you. It might be the weather, the food, the bureaucracy, for example. If you can find a way to accept and deal with the things that bug you, you’ll have a much easier time with your transition.

The friendlier the cow, the more I want to feed it some hay. Some cows have no hesitation walking right up to me. Other cows seem timid or fearful. Eventually, if a shy cow doesn’t feel like budging, I’m not going to feel like coercing it. When you walk into social situations, the more adept you become at walking up to new people and starting a conversation, the more likely they will give you their card so that you can begin turning an aquaintance into a friend.

Even though breeds of cow may vary, they’re all still cows. Whether a cow is big, small, black and white, or brown, I still love them for being cows. When you relocate, you’ll meet very different people – they’ll look different, behave differently, and maybe even speak another language. However, if you can look beyond the surface, you’ll find you’re still surrounded by wonderful people whom you can become great friends with, despite how different they are from your friends back home.

Cows are not afraid to stare at you. It can be very jarring when someone stares at you because you feel so noticed. But wherever you are in the world, eye-contact is the first step towards establishing contact and conversation.

Cows are less shy when they know you. The first day I visited these cows, they stayed at a bit of a distance, though were clearly

curious about me. When I went back a second time, they actually had no hesitation coming over to me and actually dared to sniff my hands. Similarly, if you are naturally shy,putting yourself into situations (classes, volunteering, etc) where you see the same people over and over again will make it easier for you to walk over and talk to them.