Fresh back from my vacation in France, I had a good laugh at a few cultural differences that highlight some of the key differences between our cultures.

In America, when it comes to service, we tend to be very helpful and forthcoming with information. There is a “Yes I can” attitude (though economic woes are changing that a bit).

In France, however, one should always brace for “non” as in “no, it’s not possible”, and often, information is only obtained, if it is asked for. As an example, I traveled back from France via London and was unsure whether I needed to do my detaxe/VAT refund in Paris or in London. So, I waited on line for the refund in Paris. The gentleman with customs who helped me, informed me that since England was to be the last country I was in prior to trraveling to the US, I should do the refund there. “Are you sure?” I inquired. (Yes, I really did dispute the customs agent’s information!)

“Yes,” he replied, “even though they don’t use the Euro, you have to do it there.”

“I just don’t want them to tell me I should have done it in France,” I implored.

“No problem,” he replied.

At this point, I could have walked away, thinking I had the right information, gotten on my flight, and seen what happened. Instead, I thought to ask, “One last question – as the customs agent will need to see the items I bought, and they are in my luggage with me now, which will be checked, and unavailable, when I get to London, do I still do the refund there?”

“Ah, non,” came the reply, “in this case,m as an exception, you must do it in Paris.”

The other fun part of customer service is, well, the lack of it. I upgraded to Buisness Class, and was sent to a special check-in area – “the speedy check-in” counter, available only for firstt class passengers. Ironically, it was packed – as packed as economy check-in. And, there were only 2 check-in agents available, one of whom was being trained. With only one hour till my flight, I realized I’d miss it. So, I approached another agent, inquiring whether I should worry. She replied, “No, madame, everyone on line with you has their flight in one hour as well.”

“So, then, my flight won’t leave wihtout me?” And this was my favorite part. She replied, “A priori, non” which basically means, “probably not.” She then told me to be patient.

Ironically, within 5 minutes, 6 more check-in agents appeared from thin air, getting us through check-in within moments.

I find the best thing you can do when traveling abroad or living abroad is to try an understand the mentality around service, and learn to leverage it. If I had screamed at the agent to get more check-in representatives, I’m quite sure she would have turned away and ignored me. By understanding that in France, for example, you will often encounter “non” as an answer to many requests for service, especially at an airport or government office, you can then learn how to get to “yes” by keeping calm.

At last – finally The New York Times has realized that expat spouses are important enough to write about, as is the loss of revenue to companies who do not take care of their happiness on an expat assignment.

Click here to read the full article – you need to read this!

When the opportunity to live and work abroad presents itself,   individuals tend to focus their attention on the expatriation process as well as the benefits of residing outside the home country. They discuss the impact of an overseas assignment on their career and relationships, identify personal and professional challenges,   speculate about the types of skills and knowledge that will be gained overseas, anticipate career development and personal growth.  Once a decision is made to relocate overseas, practical arrangements follow with concerns mingled with excited anticipation.   

Living in a foreign country brings both advantages and challenges.  Individuals typically will go through different stages defined as the honeymoon, culture shock, recovery, and adjustment phase (Oberg model) prior to successfully adapting to their new life.  Individuals may experience the duration of each phase differently but eventually will accustom to the new environment and become fully integrated into their host country.  Some people plan to remain overseas for only a few years (i.e. transferees, students; others entertain the idea of living in a foreign country for an extended period of time(would-be emigrants).  

After embracing the expatriate life, it is quite common to defer planning the return home or not giving much thought to what will happen after the completion of the international assignment or stay abroad. In fact,  a majority of expatriates, whether they plan to return to their country of origin in the near or distant future,  assume their repatriation to be an easy affair, a simple move that can be summarized as relocating “home”, an environment that is not only familiar but also well-known and understood. However, empirical evidence and anecdotal observations that depict the realities of repatriation reveal quite a number of challenges and difficulties individuals should acknowledge and plan for. Repatriation is not as simple as it seems. As expats, we learn about our host country’s culture and practices, and as we accept and practice new customs and behaviors, we begin to see the world from different angles. These new perspectives not only change our beliefs but also our behavior.  As we go through these phases and evolve, our country of origin, family and friends back home also undergo many changes in our absence.  Internet, Skype, social media are indeed great tools to stay connected to people and organizations we care about but we shouldn’t forget that “being connected “ does not necessarily mean  “being involved” .  

Repatriating is not an easy process because the environment we considered as our home is no longer familiar and understood.   This is called reverse culture shock. It is felt more intensely because contrary to an expatriation, these emotions and thoughts are unexpected.  This may create a lot of frustration. Numerous surveys indicate that about a quarter of expatriate employees resign from their job within a year of the return to the country of origin. A sizable number of returning expatriates report considering new assignments or opportunities abroad.  So if you are planning to return “home” after residing abroad for a number of years, here are some tips to facilitate the transition:

1. Do NOT make assumptions about your repatriation.  
2. Be inquisitive, ask questions about issues to consider (i.e.  social-economic environment in the home country, business and cultural practices, career development, financial planning, education, administrative process, reverse culture shock, cost of living, to name a few).
3. Prepare and plan
4. Seek assistance as needed (i.e. coaching, counseling, professional services).
5. Keep your expectations realistic.  3. Create a support system (i.e. mentors)  
6. Be open.  
7. Accept changes.
8. Use and share your newly acquired skills and knowledge. Repatriation can be as successful and enriching as your expatriation!

Written by Anouchka Eichman, X-Expats

Great news!  One of my esteemed Expat Coach colleagues, Doris Fuellgrabe, will be giving a fantastic presentation on expat support, and the importance of ROI (Return on Investment) when considering an expat experience.

When: Thursday, June 2nd, 12pm Eastern

Cost: Free!

To learn more, and to attend this FREE teleseminar, please click here! And re-tweet to anyone that might be interested!

Whether you are a company or the person/family traveling overseas, knowing what support is available, and what to invest in, is of crucial importance.

Learn the tips you need from Expat Coach Doris Fuellgrabe by clicking here.

When moving to New York – especially Manhattan – finding a place to live is one of the most challenging experiences you will ever have!  Not only do you have to learn new terminology (junior 4, studio…), but there are areas to learn, subway stops, decisions on whether to rent or buy, and whether or not to have a doorman or live in a walk-up, to name a few.

I recently had the pleasure of meeting Sarah Gorenstein, a self-named “chick from the UK” who, herself, went through the entire process of relocating from the UK to New York where she followed her spouse, started a family, learned the ropes, and now has her own business helping expats to find the perfect apartment in Manhattan or Scarsdale.  Sarah not only understands your adjustment woes, she is an expert at helping you find the right place to live, and opening you to housing opportunities you may not have considered.

Learn more about Sarah at http://www.halstead.com/agent.aspx?id=SFG

Being abroad during a catastrophe always makes a huge impact on one’s life.  Last night, I had dinner at my local Japanese bar/restaurant, and I greeted the bartender by asking if everyone he knew is ok – I wanted to be sure that his friends and family were all right.

He replied that “everyone he knows” is ok, but found it very interesting that his experience with Americans is that we are always concerned with “everyone we know”, rather than the greater group of people.  It wasn’t a judgment, just a remark, which was spot on.  I never thought about that, but it’s true, every time I have asked my Japanese friends/family for news, it’s been about loved ones.  In fact, another patron walked in after me, and did the same as I – “Sorry for what happened.  Is your family ok?”

So fascinating how different cultures perceive and behave in light of catastrophe.  What’s your experience with this?

I recently met a wonderful Australian woman spending time in California. Though she was only spending about a week there, she was noticing that she had to repeat herself several times in order to be understood to most people.

One of the things I think few people prepare for, when moving to another country where people speak the “same language”, say US to England, or Scotland, or Australia, etc, is that it’s not the same language at all!

Accents are difficult enough to have you realize “you’re not in Kansas anymore” and words that are basic to your vocabulary may become intolerably difficult to speak and hear. However words themselves may be vastly different in spelling or meaning or pronunciation. Consider:

Aluminum Foil vs Aluminium

Fag = cigarette in England, and is quite insulting in America

Some English speaking countries also bring in rhyming expressions you’ll never figure out without a good dictionary, like “Apples and Pears” for stairs, or “Sceptic Tanks” for Yanks!

So, if you’re planning a move to a country where you think things will be easy because the language is the same, you’ll be setting yourself up for quite a shock. Instead, try spending some time before you move actually looking at dictionaries, or, better yet, speaking with people from that country to get used to the accent and words.

Sometimes when you’re stuck in a rut, or feel a bit lost in a new place, one of the greatest things to do is something you haven’t before!

I was reminded of this recently when I took a Zumba class at the gym for the first time.  I got to move parts of me I had forgotten I had, my body loosened up, and it was exhillarating joy to dance to great music along with some great ladies.  The best part was that half the time I had no idea what I was doing, and nobody cared!  Having been in so many classes where everyone has to get the move just right, this was such a release and relief from perfection and much appreciated.

So, the next time you feel stuck, or lost, just go out into your neighborhood, or your gym, and try something you’ve never experienced before.  It goes a long way towards reviving your spirits.

One of those “small” things that makes a big difference in feeling at home is being a regular.  What I mean by that is, maybe you get your newspaper in the same spot every day, or take a coffee at the same cafe – basically, by frequenting the same place as a paying customer, the store owner or an employee gets so used to seeing you that they might say hello, ask how your day was, or have a conversation with you.

I was reminded of this essential strategy recently.  At the risk of divulging how much I LOVE wine (especially red, and especially Malbec at the moment), I went to the same old liquor store I go to whenever I need something.  Over the holidays, I happened to have a coupon, saving me 20% off any 6 bottles of wine (all gone now!) and treated myself to some Bailey’s Irish Cream, and also got a gift for a few family members who love Tanquerray!  So, when I walked in recently to replace my empty bottle of my new favorite Malbec (by La Madrid, in case you wanted to know!) I sadly learned they were out.  So, one of the employees who happened to help me over the holidays, suggested another bottle.  He brought me to the cash register and, because he knows I shop there a lot, gave me a 10% discount without my asking!

Now, it’s not just the discount, that was a nice bonus, but the point is, because I’m a regular customer at this neighborhood store, one of the managers happens to greet me when I enter, offer to help me, and is exceptionally kind.  Even in a neighborhood I know well, I know how valuable  this level of contact can be to feel “known”.  Now, I’m not saying you need to get lots of alcohol (!), but I am saying, whatever you buy habitually, try to find a place you like, and, after a move, go there as much as possible as one strategy to feel a little more at home.