I don’t know if anyone else out there is a fan of the series “Charmed”?  Well, I still like it, what can I say – I’m a fan of magic and possibilities!  Quick synopsis for those who have no idea what I’m talking about – 3 sister witches who battle evil to save the world, and date demons along the way.  (Don’t we all do that, LOL!?)  So on a recent episode, I thought there was an interesting correlation to Accompanying Spouses in the culture transition process.  In this episode, Cole, who is a demon one of the witches is dating, loses his powers.  He is half demon, half human, and due to an “accident”, he loses his demon powers, and becomes fully human.  As a demon, he was able to “shimmer” (call it teleport) anywhere he wanted.

As he accepts this change within himself, he goes for a walk, and on the way home, realizes he can no longer shimmer home, and walking home takes a lot longer!  He says, “I’ev always been a demon, that’s all I know.”

Now, I’m not trying to compare working to being a demon! (though I’m sure we feel like one on some occasions) but for an Accompanying Spouse who relocates to a country where they can no longer work, the transition can be quite difficult.  Especially if your job has defined who you are and you suddenly don’t have one – you will confront an identity challenge.

On this particular episode of “Charmed”, the witch dating Cole tries to have a romantic date night with him, but he is so lost in his transition that he tries to brainstorm ideas of everything they should worry about and how to tackle it, so he cannot be in the moment with his girflfriend.  In a marriage, going through this transition will also cause some challenges that each partner needs to be aware of.  It’s important to not only expect the challenges, but also to prepare some ways to handle it.  Here are a few suggestions:

1. The Accompanying Spouse, if he or she cannot work, should, as best as possible, try to commit to creative ways to create income, or, look at alternate ways to provide for the family.
2. As the ego steps in, during the process, the Expat (the partner who is working) should be prepared to talk openly, and also be aware of any changes in how you view your partner, who was once a provider, and may now be a dependent
3. Consider money issues before you move – how will you handle them
4. Make joint goals together – perhaps non-financial related – and remember to CELEBRATE when you accomplish them.  Also check in on goals you have now, and check whether any of them need to be re-prioritized or shifted, to avoid disappointment going forward.

These are just a few ideas to get you started, but as a couple, you should work together to figure out what methods you can put in place to be sure each partner feels heard, each partner remains committed to marriage goals, and there is some outlet for fun and nurturing your relationship.

* For more ideas on successfully transitioning cultures and avoiding relocation depression, click here! *

Welcome back to the Working Wednesday video series!  This is part 3 – and it’s one of the most fun, and most difficult, in the process – choosing a name!  There’s a lot of thought and research that goes into the process.

Click below to learn more:

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the video:

• The Tess Database
• Five Dollar Logos (and more!)
• Free Keyword Tracker

One of the natural things to do when you’ve relocated and are missing everyone back home, is to take a trip back there.  You get all excited about being able to eat at your favorite restaurants, know directions without having to ask anyone or look at a map, and of course, about seeing your best friends and your family.  Once you return home, however, the experience can be very different than you expect.  Whether you meant to or not, you have no doubt changed in subtle ways as a result of relocating to a new culture.  You may suddenly find that behaviors you once found normal or didn’t think about now bother you.  Perhaps you notice that everyone dresses funny, and you realize you used to dress that way, too, and so it hits you as very odd to be criticizing habits and trends that you thought were yours.

The most striking downside of the experience can be that your friends and family tell you to “STOP….”  For example, I recently overheard a conversation about a woman from Minnesota who has been living in New York for four years.  She mentioned a trip home and was struck by the fact that everything was so slow there – from the traffic to the service – that she could not WAIT to get back to New York.  In addition, she picked up some not so nice lingo from the big city, and her family repeatedly told her, “That’s not how we talk in this family.”  She found herself at odds wtih them in her needs and her speech.  This is more likely to happen if you’ve moved from a small town to a big city, or vice versa.  (You can refer to one of my earlier posts about what to expect when moving from a small town to a big city for some additional tips).

Sometimes, this causes disappointment – after all, you thought your trip home was supposed to make you feel better, not worse.  Now what?  Where can you go to feel better?  The answer may be quite simple – you actually have come to feel at home in a new place.  When this thought hits, it can be very jarring.  I remember a trip home when I was living in France.  On the flight BACK to France, I cought myself mid-thought, saying to myself, “When I get home…” and it struck me that I was referring to Paris, not New York.

The experience of what I will call “the concept of home” is a natural part of the adjustment process, and also a shift in your own personal identity, and possibly even your values.  It’s something to be aware of, because it may take you by surprise.  To this day, I actually feel more European than American because I have spent so much time in Europe and adapted many of the customs, traditions, and language I have experienced when overseas.

One potential positive impact of that trip home, though, may be that you return to the place you moved feeling more at home, and realizing that you do know your way around better than you thought, and that you feel like more possibilities open up for your life in that place.

* To learn how Expat Coaching can help you further adapt to a new culture, click here! *

This is the third and final article about moving to New York City and choosing the best method of staying in touch with your friends and family back home.

In the first two articles I focused on plain old telephone service, and VoIP. This article will cover cell phones, as well as how to stay apprised of current events back home.

Nowadays, many New Yorkers opt to skip a home phone, and just have a cell phone. Since WiFi is available almost anyplace, you can take your laptop and peruse the internet in a café, so this cuts out the need for an internet connection at home. Your cell phone, of course, allows you to be reachable almost anywhere. (Your location, literally as in inside a building, on the street, or at a concert with thousands of people that tie up the cell phone network in one location all influence whether or not calls will get through to you.)

Main providers of cell phone service in New York are AT&T, Sprint and Verizon, though many smaller companies exist as well. Unless you are willing to pay hundreds of dollars for an unlocked cell phone, you will have to commit to a minimum of a one-year contract with the provider you choose. Every one has different rate plans, typically of benefit for domestic calling, and the rate plan changes about once a year. On average, expect to pay $50 – $100 per month for your cell phone (depending what features you have, and whether or not you want a data plan), and add to that the charge for an international dialing plan – typically about $5 per month, which makes international calls cheaper than if you do not purchase an international rate plan. Some providers also offer a “pay as you go” option which could be of value if you want to lower your monthly fees.

The potential downsides of having a cell phone as your main means of staying in touch with people back home are:

•limited battery life which could cut into your talk time
•you will pay for calls received on your cell phone, as well as those you make
•often this is not as cost-effective as either a land line, or VoIP service

Finally, when you move to New York City, you may wish to stay informed about news back home. Major TV stations in New York will only cover local and domestic news, and provide highlights of major international stories. For better coverage of smaller, more local news, you’ll want to check out CNN as well as NYCLife which even offers news segments direct from other countries, in other languages – most frequently French and Italian news. Foreign language newspapers are readily available. Spanish newspapers are available at almost all newsstands, and there are many international media stores around the city where you can find virtually any newspaper you’re looking for.

* Looking for more information to help you adapt to life in The Big Apple? Click Here! *

Welcome to Working Wednesdays – the 10-part video series designed to help you understand and implement the basic steps you need to start a new business!

Today’s lesson is about delving further into your business choice by looking at personal experience, qualifications, competition and more.  Just click below to get started:

This is part two in a series to help you move to New York and sort out which technology is best for you to stay in touch with friends and family back home.

Part One of this article series covered basic phone and internet service. Part two will focus on using VoIP to help you find a cost-effective way to talk to everyone you miss most.

There are many providers and options in New York. Though they are certainly not the only providers, two well-known options are SKYPE and Vonage, and I’ll be focusing on them in this article. VoIP technology allows you to use your existing internet connection (so you first have to buy internet service, which normally means you have also bought dial-tone from your local service provider, like Verizon or Time Warner Cable) to lower your calling rates.

Lower calling rates are especially useful for reaching out to people internationally. Here’s how I would break down the benefits of VoIP service to stay in touch versus a land line option, as I discussed in part one of this article series.

SKYPE – known in most parts of the world, this is a great way to attach a video device to your computer and not only talk to, but also SEE your friends as you talk to them – a very wonderful experience! Even better – if you know each other’s SKYPE names, the calls are free of charge. Requires a software download, and microphone. Video is optional. Logitech is one of the better known providers of the video devices you can use with SKYPE. International rates vary if you are calling phone numbers and the connection can have interference or dropped calls, but on average, it’s excellent.

Vonage – for as little as an additional $9.99, you can add this service. This gets you a domestic US number – any area code you like – and 200 minutes of OUTbound calling, plus unlimited Inbound calling. If you tend to make a lot of calls, they also have an international plan for about $25 that includes unlimited international calling. The other great feature you can add, and fees vary per country, but average an additional $9.99, is a virtual number. So, if you just moved to New York, from, say Spain, you can purchase a number with a Madrid area code (or one of many other major Spanish cities) so your friends back home can make an almost local call and reach you in New York!

As you make your decision, make sure you do plenty of research on not only the providers, but hidden fees, contract terms, and additional equipment you may need to invest in.

Make sure to see Part Three of this series, where I will cover cell phones as well as keeping up with the news back home.

* In the meantime, click here for more information and help adapting to life in The Big Apple! *

I’m just back from dinner with my mother and stepfather.  We had a fascinating, and disturbing discussion about the recent birthday of one of my stepdad’s grandkids.  He just turned 10, and one of his gifts was a movie with his friends.  Apparently, one of the movies discussed was the recent “The Return of Nanny McPhee”.  It was apparently judged “TOO SCARY” for a 10-year old, because the nanny is ugly.  However, Salt, involving violence, assasinations, shooting, beatings, etc. was deemed appropriate, and that’s what they saw. 

With video games today being about nothing other than random violence and death, and the world we live in broadcasting live violence, wars, etc. I suppose I shouldn’t be so shocked.  Yet, when I consider what is “scary” to a ten-year old, I remember my own youth and being terrified of the film “Jaws” and even “Poltergeist” (I STILL check under the bed and close the closet door!). It seems to be a bit tragic that today’s kids are so much more desensitized to violence. 

For those of you living in other cultures (outside the US) – do you find children have the same desensitization?  (I am sure that living in war-trodden places, there is an entirely different perspective).  And, those of you in the US – do you find this shocking, normal, or something else?

And, the pivotal question – do you think Nanny McPhee is really more scary than Salt?

After moving to New York, you will no doubt want to stay in touch with great friends, and family back home. New York is technology central! If they make the technology, you can probably find it here. Of course, with all the daily social activities you’ll no doubt get involved in, you may have a tough time finding the right time to phone home, especially if there is a different time zone to accommodate.

The toughest thing you’ll encounter when figuring out how to stay in touch with your favorite people back home is the plethora of options and providers that cater to your telecommunication needs in New York. Frequently, it seems that the best deal is to change providers every time your contract is up to get the best deals.

This is part one in a series to help you figure out the best methods to stay in touch with friends and family.

The Land Line

• This is the “fixed phone” that only works in your home. Advantages are that it can* provide the best reception of all the options, and you won’t have any dropped calls unless there is a blackout or fiber cut in your area. (* I say “can” because depending whether you get a cordless phone, or a corded phone, makes a difference.)
• If you’re in a large apartment building, you will want a DEC phone to put up with the least amount of interference from your neighbors phones
• You will need to buy dial tone service for this line. The two mainstream providers of dial tone in New York are Verizon and Time Warner Cable. Outside of Manhattan, there are more providers and cheaper rates. Both these providers are now competing to give you phone, internet, and cable TV service.
• It is much more cost effective to get all 3 then to choose only one or two, if you’re in need of TV, internet and cable. On average, it will cost you $90 – $100 per month your first year, and then costs will go up about $20 a month after that.
• Verizon DSL or FIOS is much faster internet service than Time Warner Cable modems
• Verizon has been requiring a 2-year contract, though it’s not evident in their advertising, whereas Time Warner requires only 1 year. Early disconnect fees are heavy.
• Both services work with your land line
• Verizon is a phone company at the foundation, Time Warner Cable is a TV company at the foundation. If you require lots of phone features, Verizon may be better – such as a fax line or two lines of service, or “distinctive ring” service which allows you to split one line into two for incoming calls.
• Typical packages include unlimited domestic calls in the US, and ability to add on rate plans to the countries you call the most.

Stay tuned for the rest of the series! 

* Looking for more information to help you adapt to life in The Big Apple? Click Here! *

Today begins our next video series!  I was so inspired by all the great feedback from the last one that I’ve put together a new series.  This one will focus on starting a new business.  Though anyone who wants to start a business can benefit, this can be especially helpful to those of you out there who are an Accompanying Spouse looking for meaningful work, as well as an Expat who might just have a great idea.

This series will cover just the basics of taking a great idea into reality – what you need to consider to start your business, getting your business online, and more!  This is a 10-part series and will take place every Wednesday.

Today’s video will discuss the idea stage – how to determine WHAT to do and what business to create:

Repatriation is a subject that is getting covered more and more, especially in the past year as the economy has forced many Expats to return home. Of course, other issues could force a return home – from divorce, to family illnesses and beyond.

The return “home” can often be harder than the original move. This is because Repatriates assume they are “returning home to the familiar” and are therefore unexpectedly surprised and dismayed to learn that they no longer feel at home in the place they may have spent most of their lives. Adapting to a new culture implies that you will shift perceptions and ideals in the process. So, what you once thought was familiar, will now feel foreign. And if you went from, say, living in the countryside, or on the beach and loved the outdoors and openness, and return to a big city full of tall buildings, the scenery itself could be an immediate source of disappointment every day.

If you are one of these people and decide that “home is no longer home” and you want to try and find another city that fits you better, here are a few tips, fresh from a coaching session I had recently, that can help you in the process:

1. As you think about places you might prefer to live, try not to focus on the cities themselves.  In other words, if you decide that based on your needs, you think Austin, Texas or Sedona, Arizona would be a better place for you to live than your hometown of Washington, DC, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.  Why?  Because after you visit Austin and Sedona, if you decide you don’t like either, you can jump right into depression, and feel there is noplace for you to live.
2. Instead of making a list of cities, make a list of qualities you need.  For example, open space, within 20 miles of the beach, easy access to transportation, friendly people that greet passerby, etc.  The more you can be in touch with the qualities that now make you happy, the more likely you will find what your seeking.  The other benefit of this technique is that if you visit, say Austin and Sedona, and find you don’t like them as much as you thought, you can look at your list and better understand what’s missing – this, in turn, will keep you focusing on the future, and coming up with alternate cities to consider living in.  Continuing to focus on your quality list will be very helpful in avoiding potential depression.
3. Try vision boarding – this is such a powerful tool.  Use images to help you get in touch with your needs.  You can share your vision board with your life coach, or with a good friend, and they can give you additional insights on what your images reflect.

* Interested in setting up a complimentary coaching session to work on your biggest repatriation or expatriation challenges?  Click here!  *