Culture Transition Tips & Strategies

It’s Culture Transition Tip Tuesday again!

Here is Tip #10

As “Inception” is no doubt a film that people are watching all over the world, I’m curious, for those who saw it – what do you think happened at the end?

It seems to me that there are two possibilities – Leonardo’s character woke up from the job on the airplane, or he is still in limbo.

The only argument I can think of to support him being awake is that the powerful cocktail of drugs did not impact the inner eardrum, (so it was said in the film) so the “kick” awake could have happened on descent of the plane. (However, since airplanes tilt frequently in flight, I am perplexed why nobody woke up before landing.)

I believe Leonardo’s character is still in limbo at the end. Here’s why:

1. Did you notice that in the final scene of confrontation with the old Japanese man, Leo’s character is eating something? It’s the only dream scene where food is ingested – what does that mean?
2. Upon waking, he doesn’t speak to anyone.
3. The people on his team to do not speak to him in the airport. They only acknowledge him – sort of like figures in other subconscious minds we step into during the film – only the ones that have more of a leading role for that person DO speak. Odd that Ellen dePage’s character, “the architect”, who has been so talkative and pushy to get Leo to confront his subconscious demon, doesn’t even say a word of congratulations.
4. He clears customs, greets his father who takes his bags, and then we are in Leo’s home. Remember at the beginning, he told Ellen’s character that the way you know you’re in a dream is that you have no idea how you got where you are. So, how did we get to Leo’s home?
5. And wait – what’s his father doing at the airport?  Leo was in Paris with the gang, and last minute, they go fly to Los Angeles on this mission, first going, I believe, to England, and have a 10 hour flight.  Did dad go with everyone – and if so, must have been economy?  And, why would he go with them at all? And, this is the critical piece – if his father were on the plane, which is the only plausible way he could have gotten from Paris to LA at the same time, he would have met Leo in baggage claim and cleared customs together, not found him outside customs!?
6. When Leo and his dad get home, where supposedly “grandma” is watching the kids, there is no other adult there – just the two kids playing outside – do you buy that they were home alone?
7. He seems to feel safe at home, but in real life, at the start of the movie, Leo’s character was running away because he failed his mission and knew his company would look for him – so how could he feel safe anywhere?
8. “Grandma” (Leo’s mother I presume?) was very angry with Leo on the phone at the start of the movie. She even told the kids he was never coming home. This would indicate he was away from home for more than a few days or weeks. So, how come the kids, when he returns home, are not only the same age, but also wearing the same clothes, doing the same activity, as in all of his memories?
9. Remember, when Leo and Ellen’s characters are in Leo’s mind at one point in the film, he takes us to this exact spot, with the kids playing outside, and he says something like, “I keep returning to this place over and over, but no matter how much I try, I cannot change this one moment. I want to see the kid’s faces, but I get scared…” and this time they turn towards him, indicating, to me, that he is now living out his subconscious dream, as he did with his wife before that.

** What’s your opinion? Cast your vote here

We tend to think of Culture Shock as something that only affects us when we move to a different country. The truth, however, is that culture shock can occur even with domestic moves. And, the experience can be more impacting because you didn’t expect it. Expats, in particular, often go through two sets of adjustments – one being a new country, the other being a new city.

One of the most obvious times that this type of double culture shock will occur is when moving from a small town to a big city, such as New York. I remember when I was in college, I had a friend from Peoria, Illinois. I still remember his fascination as I described my high school being five stories tall, and he said, “You mean, in New York, the buildings go UP?!” In his town, he was accustomed to buildings that sprawled out on one floor.

This is a perfect example at one of the first differences you may notice – building size, and height. Sometimes when I return from a vacation to a place like Arizona, even I feel momentarily claustrophobic in Manhattan. This is one of the possible impacts of moving to a big city – you may feel enclosed, boxed in, seeking out sky, and seeing only huge towers in every direction.

There is something about “the big city” that also impacts social behavior. In big cities, it is more likely that people will be in a rush. They may be late for work or an appointment, and their eyes are often cast downward, or straight ahead, focusing on getting where they need to go. People walk with purpose, as if there is not enough time. In a smaller town, people are more inclined to stroll leisurely. Time seems to actually move more slowly, and if you try to rush, everyone will probably have a nickname for you! People are also more likely to look one another in the eye, say hello, or at least smile, as they pass one another.

This brings me to another point – the experience of being known. In a small town, people look at you, and notice you. Even if you feel lonely, you’re likely to find that someone will ask how your day is going, even if they are a relative stranger. You may even know and spend time with your neighbors, or store owners. In a big city, it’s much more likely that you’ll be isolated – it’s a bizarre paradox, actually. There are so many more people to meet, but everyone is wrapped up in their own worlds, and don’t seem to have time, so they are less likely to get to know you, and you can easily go an entire day without exchanging any more words apart from “Excuse me” and “I’ll have a ham sandwich on whole wheat bread.”

Another potential downside of moving from small town to big city is how much trust you can have in people. I once dated a man from a small town in Ireland. I felt awful for him one day when we met for lunch and he told me that a man in the street approached him, told him he had an urgent situation and needed to call his family, but had no money. He asked my boyfriend to loan him a few dollars, which he promised to return. So, my boyfriend, being accustomed to honest, well-intentioned people, loaned the man $20. The man then ran off, never to return.

Transportation can be overwhelming in a big city. If you’re used to walking, or perhaps the “Main Street bus”, you’ll find the metro or subway like navigating veins and arteries in the bloodstream – impossible to follow or make sense of until you get used to how they function, which lines work best, and best points to transfer lines. And, on the streets, you’ll shift from slow traffic to what feels like a race car track you’re trying to walk across during the Indie 500!

Now that we’ve looked at some shifts to expect, let me leave you with a few tips on how you can make the transition a bit easier, and find some familiarity among the “iron jungle”:

1. If you feel overwhelmed by the height and proximity of city buildings, find the nearest park and spend time there as often as possible. Being in nature is a great way to literally expand the horizon and take a break. If the park doesn’t do it for you, then take a train or a bus to a nearby town on the weekends. This will both help you escape the big buildings, and potentially even help you find some “small town” familiarity.
2. Join a local club, organization, sports team, etc. It’s a lot easier to meet people, and more likely you’ll become friends, if you find a way to do something that happens repeatedly on a weekly or even monthly, basis. The more you see the same people, the more inclined they will be to get to know you.
3. It’s unfortunate, but in a big city, you do need to watch your wallet. I suggest you offer your money to charity rather than hand-outs to every person that asks you. (And, in a big city, there are a lot of people that will ask you for money, so you’ll quickly go broke if you oblige!)
4. Keep your eyes open for a local store or café that reminds you of home. Even in a large city, there are places that, once inside, may have items that remind you of something special from the place you’ve moved from. They may even have a slower pace of life – perhaps just a few people, and a sense of timelessness. If you happen across one, write down the name and address and visit once in a while.
5. Give yourself permission to adjust. It will take some time. If you can keep a journal, it will be a great place for you to review every few weeks to observe how overwhelm or fear might be shifting to confidence and happiness. Make sure to reward yourself when it does happen!
6. Hire an Expat Coach – they have gone through the same changes as you, and can be an excellent resource to help you with the transition process.

* Need to find an Expat Coach?  Check out The Expat Coach Directory for your single resource to a more fulfilling life in a new culture! *

It’s Culture Trasition Tip Tuesday once again!

Here is Tip #9

I was recently watching a cute flick (well, I guess it could be considered cheesy, but hey, I thought it was cute!)  In it, the main character, Daphne, an American from New York, goes off to London as a teenager to find and meet her father.

While in England, she encounters massive cultural shifts.  Her father is a Lord, and is running for political office. He is surrounded by demanding political advisors, and a social-climbing fiancee.  Daphne, who is accustomed to casual dress, a tiny apartment, and very low-key lifestyle, enters into a world of wealth, a huge house, and frequent parties with royalty for which she must wear elegant gowns.  She hugs her grandmother, who retorts, “No hugs, I’m British.  We only show affection for dogs and horses.”  Her father’s fiancee and her daughter are bent on getting Daphne to leave as soon as possible – sabotaging her efforts as often as possible.

The movie, despite whether or not you like it, demonstrates some important things to focus on when transitioning cultures and trying to make new friends :

1. Be aware of cultural habits when it comes to greeting and showing appreciation.  In the film, Amanda Bynes is accustomed to hugging everyone, but the people she encounters find this too personal. You may have to alter your normal style to fit in, at least to start.
2. Notice how people dress.  The obvious changes are in formal parties – of course you’d expect to dress more formally than day-to-day wear.  But, take a look at day-to-day dress as well.  The very clothes you wear can serve to keep you isolated, or bring you closer to those around you.
3. Focus on the people that take a liking to you.  If you find yourself feeling that the people you’d most like to be friends with aren’t welcoming you, then focus your efforts and attention on the people that DO want to be friends.  It could be a local shopkeeper, or someone  you least expect.  Shift your attention towards them!

* For more help on making new friends after moving, click here! *

It’s Culture Transition Tip Tuesday again!

Here is Tip #8

I just love this story – will Spain win today?  Let’s find out!

Click here for more on Paul, the psychic Octopus…sad that he may not be around for the next World Cup due to his age.

Once in a while I like to promote a handy resource that may be of help to Expats around the globe – so today I am featuring Expat Arrivals.  This handy resource gives you an Expat Guide to many locations around the world to help you with things like work permits, accomodations, setting up bank accounts, and features in-country, and even in-city, experts to help you with the basic information you need the most!

Simply click here to learn more!

Welcome back to Culture Transition Tip Tuesday!

Here is Tip #7

One of the things I feel happens “only in New York” is the bizarre coincidence of running into a long lost friend in the most bizarre of places.

New York is a city of over 9 million people.  It’s HUGE.  The fact that you can actually notice a single person, and that the two of you are in the same place, at the same time, without having planned it, is, well, seemingly impossible! 

I was reminded of this coincidence just the other day.  I injured my back recently and have been going to Physical Therapy for over a month.  I always go at the same time, on the same days, and there are only 2 practitioners in the office.  The other day, I ended up there earlier than usual, and as I walked in the door, heard my name called from the waiting room.  I looked over and it was a friend whom I have known since the age of 2, but whom I have not seen for five years!  It turns out that she injured her arm, and was also in Physicaly Therapy!  Now, imagine this – two people who have not seen each other in years, both injure themselves in the same timeframe, and, out of all the physical therapy offices in Manhattan (and there are a gazillion of them!) end up not only at the same office, but each seeing a DIFFERENT practitioner so end up with the same appointment time on the same day.

I don’t know what it is about New York, but this happens to me fairly frequently – and when it happens, boy does the city, in fact, the whole world, seem tiny!

* For more fun tips about life in Manhattan, check out www.navigatenewyork.com *